Contest 52! (Blog 293)

It’s the start of a new month, so that means another video gets reviewed by me! As hinted at many times before, (too many times even, it’s getting VERY old but I’ll try to make that up to you), I don’t think I’m going to bother making two or more people fight for the throne every four weeks, as my Facebook competition page gets about 5 views a month. I’m assuming such views last a few seconds and are maybe even perceived as annoying. So what’s the point, really? (Then again, maybe I don’t get many views because I clearly don’t care and have a rubbish prize. Hm). Maybe for the 100 contest special I’ll make another genuine competition with more than two acts even, but that’s a long way away. And on that positive note, who ‘won’ this time? For maybe the fifth, sixth, or even seventh time, (but surely not first) it’s Shawn Parke and his team called Hidden Histories! Very exciting, right? Maybe. Just be warned that I may come across as… unprofessional at times. :S (Huge surprise right? You may compliment my spelling, but a computer checks that stuff for me. But the use of grammar? My idea!)

Anyway, that intro was very cliched so here’s a joke… No, THREE…

Where do the people who use cameras the most come from? Camelot.

What’s the difference between a savoury food spread and your mother’s strength? One’s Marmite, the other’s ma might.

How was the naughty breath punished? It was expelled.

Here goes the rest of the blog!…

You’d think such a long and crazy winning video about McDonalds would inspire a lot of writing, but actually I’m feeling a bit speechless, right now. (Luckily I’ve given myself a few weeks to write this article, just in case. Yep, you should have seen first draft!) I’m always careful not to offend the celebrities and such I talk about (and I would greatly appreciate a mutual ‘respect’, too. No please, I’m begging you :S), but Hidden Histories don’t seem to care at all, which is interesting. They say chefs cover chips with cocaine? ‘Oh but no one would believe that, so who cares?’ Yeah? Well don’t you think foods called ‘Happy Meals’ sound suspicious? We all know how hard it is to make some children happy. That may have been HH’s point, but I’m not sure as I’ll explain later. Another controversy was when HH said the McDonald’s logo is actually two floppy penises joined together but I’m not going to say anything other than THAT, and HH say that hotdogs of another fast food company are made from pig’s anuses. However, that is actually a common theory for many fast foods, so maybe I should let that go. It’s like saying fizzy drinks cause diabetes, it’s fine. But McDonald’s don’t do that, I’ve actually watched a video about the company that puts them in a good light. So there you go. :) (The smiley face makes me likeable and trustworthy, right? Let’s face it, it could imply the opposite).

Again, having implied HH are brave, it’s extremely important they are nice to me too, as if even I say things about me that are questionable, it makes me wonder what other people could say. So HH, you know I love you. You’re the greatest ever. ;) However, I have to be honest, whilst I may have watched the ‘winning’ video over and over again, that was only because I was trying so hard to come up with ideas. I want you to be honest with me, too: Hidden Histories, you don’t think I… Actually, I won’t finish that question. Too risky. Moving on, annoyingly it seems Youtube doesn’t show the amount of thumbs down a video gets any more, so no one knows how successful a program is now. Have Youtube users complained that they can’t take negative criticism? I mean it hurts, but it’s not unbearable. I’ll tell you what’s REALLY painful: The slow realisation that film music will never have places for my woos! (Yes, I studied film music at university. It wasn’t Berkeley, but it was still higher education).

So you’ll have to rely on me to get a trusted evaluation. Again, good video! 78 views and 12 likes? Not bad, a good ratio. To be honest, I had difficulty concentrating through all its 23 minutes and 22 seconds, but I found it easier to listen when I wasn’t looking at the visuals. Maybe HH should stop trying so hard and simplify things. Or maybe they could use subtitles with arrows pointing at the words to really hammer them into the brain. Or MAYBE that would look stupid. On the plus side, you got an explanation why I was unsure about the channel. I could have just left it and caused a lot of mental pain. How do I know such a lack of explanations cause such annoyance? I guess I’m just a vague kind of guy. It happens a lot, in other words. Anyway, check out the winning video below! I promise it’s not as stupid as I may be making it sound…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyoSz5AmvnU

Now to change the subject! Words of wisdom always help and inspire, right? Well what about this phrase: ‘Hammer the nail that sticks out.’ I really don’t like that one at all. That’s actually incredibly harmful to me. In a counterattack, here’s an ‘insight’ I’ve made up: ‘Screw you’. Yeah, how’d you like that? Oh, it doesn’t sound intelligent enough to be a true insight? Then how about this: ‘Hammer the hammer that hammers nails.’ You could call it a variant of ‘a taste of your own medicine’, only it makes more sense in that medicine is actually good for you. And on that winning note… Bye!