Contest 54! (Blog 304)

A new one man contest, a new guy to spread the word about! So, Matt Jones wins again! (Long time readers will know I had a habit of saying ‘so’ to open blogs, so things seem to be deteriorating. Or maybe they’re just getting retro. Which is cool. Do you know a good phrase? ‘So, so’. I’m sure I’ll find a use for it one day!) Anyway, it seems to me that almost all if not all of Matt Jones’s characters are at least a tiny bit creepy. Of course it would be hypocritical to judge, so what do I do? Out of curiosity, I RATE how creepy his creations are in his ’New Character Reel’ video, just for the fun of it. Here goes!

Creepiness level 1: Businessman in a tight shirt

Let’s start things light - Nothing wrong with tight shirts, which is excellent news for those who put on weight and outgrew their clothes during lockdown. Luckily gyms were open for much of the super boring period, making tight shirts less of a concern if such clothes ARE creepy, I’m just misinformed. I’ll tell you people who are really creepy: Those who wear nothing.

Level 2: Man pretending to be a woman

I’m certainly not saying men who dress like women are creepy, and to relief of everyone including me, Matt’s character is more likeable, if anything. Good for him. Although if you dress as a woman whilst applying for a job as macho as world’s strongest man, you may get lots of questions. That’s just the world we live in. -_-

Level 3: Conspiracy theorist

If anything, this guy is strangely likeable, too. Maybe that says a lot about me but medication helps; you wouldn’t believe the stuff I used to believe in. I can laugh at flat Earthers now, but back in the day? That’s some convincing stuff.

Level 4: Philosopher in glasses

Another fairly likeable person, it’s just… why does he wear his glasses like that? Something’s wrong. I’m just saying, when I had schizophrenia, I would have worn my padded karate shoes to go to the shops if it wasn’t for my parents. That’s just the kind of stuff to look out for, that’s all I’m saying. If he has a lisp, that’s perfectly fine, but if he’s putting it on for whatever reason? I’ve heard crazy people do that to sound scary or whatever, so I’d run.

Level 5. Tom Cruise stalker

Yes, Tom Cruise has done some impressive things like fly fighter jets and do impossible missions on multiple occasions, but IT’S NOT REAL. You might as well stalk the Hobbit!!

Level 6. Man who comes back from the dead

Ok, now we’re getting creepy. At least the guy said he went to Heaven, though. If he said he went to Hell, and so casually? Run like never before.

Level 7. Scary neighbour

What’s more scary than Matt the zombie? Matt’s scary faces and dodgy eye contact. Call the police, ASAP.

Now watch Matt’s video below, and see if you agree with me. You’ll probably want to score the conspiracy guy higher, which I guess says a lot about me… Again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZxTrP0fZ-o

Now to change the subject! How creepy, am I? I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem with wearing tight shirts, so I’m not level 1. I’ve worn a woman’s wig in school, as did most of my friends, so I guess I have mild level 2 traits. Then again, I could have been perceived as a male glam metaller, so let’s say those traits are very mild. Personally, I don’t think the guys in Motley Crue look like girls, I think if you have nice hair, flaunt it. I’m not so much level 3 anymore, so let’s ignore that one. I have been known to put my glasses on in a hurry from time to time, so I guess I have mild level 4 traits, too. Do I stalk people? Yeah, on Facebook. :S I’m fairly level 5, tbh. I’ve never come back from the dead in my life, so I can ignore level 6. Am I a creepy neighbour? Well at very least, people don’t fear for their lives around me, which is something. I hope I don’t sound like I’m avoiding the question. (But I am). Bye!