Contest 68! (Blog 373)

In today’s Matt Jones based blog, I will discuss his video ‘How To Have A Successful Marriage in 1950’. Matt’s character says that if you lived in the past, you should basically kidnap your spouse and give her a fact of the day to keep her entertained. Is that all?? A fact? Clearly awful. Though I’m not one to judge, as I’d give her a shape of the day instead. What’s really bad is the fact I’ve repeated shapes of the day on my site’s homepage. What would you rather have? The knowledge that tortoises can live well over a hundred years, or someone saying ‘shoe shape’ to you a few times? And of course, whilst shoes have a shape technically speaking, ‘shoe shape’ isn’t really a thing. For that reason, maybe I’m not marriage material, (it does get said) but on the plus side I wouldn’t kidnap someone. James might kidnap Dan but they are both fictitious. Well Dan is, James not so much. However, as Matt explains, maybe not wanting to hold someone captive is part of the problem as doing so stops women looking at other men. Actually no, now we have Youtube and dating sites so his advice wouldn’t work so much nowadays. I’m not saying he should take things further, I’m just saying if his character was around today… well, yeah, he should take things further. At least in theory. :S

Matt explains that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote. He argues that he gives his wife the world, she doesn’t want the universe, too? I’ve voted a few times, and not once did it make me feel like I had the universe. Do you know when I did feel like I had the universe? When going to Laser Quest on my birthday. If Matt’s character really doesn’t want his wife to be greedy, I’d say ‘no Laser Quest’. Whatever the case, I really do think Matt’s lust for life should be admired. His marriage views may be controversial, but liking politics THAT much? It makes you wonder what else he loves? Maybe Laser Quest even more than me which sounds ridiculous. To sum up, sure Matt may have said some valid things, but is it REALLY a successful marriage if his wife eventually stabs him, as shown? Imagine the kind of people who would pay for that kind of guidance. Matt’s character really does have a niche market, but I have heard of people doing really crazy things. I would call myself at least a bit weird (it’s ok) but I’ve never chopped my legs off. Is it a boredom thing? A challenge? Forgive me for sounding naive, but Laser Quest is a challenge too. I would suggest something more grown up like becoming a lumberjack, but it would likely end in disaster, wouldn’t it? To lighten the mood, check out his video below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSmzIMZ9l1E

Now to change the subject! It’s a bit upsetting how Poland’s ‘scandalously bad’ entry very easily beat the UK in the Eurovision song contest, as did the song about wanting the world to burn. Maybe the UK’s next song should be about literally blowing up the whole universe if that’s the way the competition is going. What’s the secret to a hit? That’s a question that has been debated for many decades. Well now it’s all clear - mindless violence. I guess it’s no surprise it took so long to realise that, as it is counterintuitive. Want to know why Abba’s song ‘Waterloo’ was so successful? Because it’s catchy? No, it’s because it’s about a bloody battle with many deaths. People ASSUME it’s because it’s catchy but my theory is that deep down people want to see blood, their psyches just find that thought unacceptable and repress it. You’ll never listen to pop music in the same way again and you may suffer from low self-esteem from now on. Sorry about that, but that’s the price you have to pay for my level of self-awareness. And on that thoughtful note, bye!