Contest 92! (Blog 520)

It’s time to blog about another of Matt Jones’s teacher themed podcasts, this time featuring guest teech Daffany Clark. At first I read that as ‘with guest Daffy Duck’ which sounded interesting, but sadly it wasn’t to be. But I’m sure it will be a great show anyway, let’s give it a view! Right! The teachers were saying how wearing body cameras would be a good idea to help deal with bad student behaviour. Could be a good idea, but you have to wonder where it would go from there. Teachers carrying truncheons? As this is an American podcast, even teachers carrying guns would be a possibility. That wouldn’t be allowed in England obviously, but for whatever reason crossbows ARE legal, as are baseball bats. Is that a school I’d like to go to? Maybe not. DAFFANY (not Daffy!) says that she manages pupil behaviour 100% of the time. Is she really a teacher or is she working in a mental home? If the latter, really someone should explain that to her. An awkward conversation, but definitely for the best in the long run. I write music reviews for Metal-Rules.com. At least I think I do. If it turned out to be a site for reviewing food or something else completely unrelated, I’d be horrified. I’d be like ‘I thought it was funny how I kept talking about my favourite band when someone told me to talk about curry, I don’t know what came over me!’ Furthermore, no weapons in mental homes please, it would make the problem worse, try claiming they’re peaceful places, then. The adverts were a lie. :(

She later says she has to deal with short attention spans and rather darkly, ‘putting out fires’. That could be a metaphor, but yep, sounds like a mental home to me. There’s nothing wrong with working in a mental home, I’d argue there’s nothing wrong with being a patient, I’m just saying being that wrong about what you do for a living IS a problem. It’s easily sorted out though, again, someone just needs a chat with you. Matt says he’s a Christian who tries to love everybody. He says how annoying some students are and says he loves everybody? Oh no, further evidence there is no school. Again, I’m not judging anyone, but it IS a mental home and he’s a patient, and that’s not me attacking him in any way, as I get it. :) A mental home with someone calling herself ‘Daffy Duck.’ Ok, ok, that was a misunderstanding but you never know, Daffany Clark may not be her real name either, she could be called something completely different as she too is very confused, something like Helga Aufschnaiter. Let’s see if she says anything else that’s crazy. ‘School is a co-parent’? How would you react if I called my school MY stepdad? ‘Oh you were taught by your stepdad even though you don’t have one?’ ‘No, no, my school IS my stepdad!’ Oh no. It’s a particularly bad delusion as schools are massive buildings with dozens of rooms, and in this case stepdads are very sad and concerned looking people who don’t exist.

Another teacher says something like ‘if a child isn’t willing to work, I can’t do anything, I’m not a teacher.’ It would be morally wrong obviously, but if you were to cut out the first part of his sentence and just leave ‘I can’t do anything, I’m not a teacher’ you could very easily ruin the reputation of the school. When combined with the idea that teachers should carry guns, the school would be in very serious trouble, but I am still waiting for someone to say ‘sometimes I worry if a student is carrying a gun.’ Then you can chop the sentence up into single words then rearrange them, getting something like ‘I can’t do anything, I’m not a teacher. I carry a gun’. The speaking wouldn’t sound natural, but if you’re shocked you are more likely to believe anything, I think. He later says that if a child loses one of his parents, ‘doing crazy stuff goes through the roof!’ So we have ‘I can’t do anything, I’m not a teacher. Doing crazy stuff goes through the roof, I carry a gun.’ Matt later boasts that he remembers all of his 200 student’s names, but if I had him as a teacher, maybe I wouldn’t want him to know my name. Joking of course, it was the other guy who said he has a gun. Joking of course again, that was a fabrication and I’m deeply sorry. Now check out the podcast below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVmolrvTHro