Contest 98! (Blog 549)

Ok, it’s time for another Matt and two other teachers on a podcast themed blog, let’s go! Wow, Matt very quickly says you have to have something wrong with you to either teach or do standup comedy and he does both of those things. His lessons must be pretty interesting. If he has something physically wrong with him, he’ll be spewing all over the students, if he has something mentally wrong with him, he’ll only be pretending, which is why I think mental problems aren’t anything to worry about. Am I getting therapy? No, I’m perfect the way I am. Oh no, I’ve talked about craziness again, that was quick. To be fair though, Matt DID start it. I’ll try harder from now on. Matt then says you have to be a little psycho to be a comic. Wow, I’m not sure how I’m going to comment on that without mentioning craziness. I guess all I can say is… what’s wrong with Mr. Bean? He’s not psycho. A weirdo maybe, but not bad. Matt then says the food schools give the kids makes them crazy. This has to be one of the most challenging blogs I’ve done. How the hell am I supposed to comment on that? Maybe I should just change the subject and talk about pizza. Matt has just talked about pizza, after all. Oh noooo, I said I’d stop talking about that, too!

Ok, I’m trying SUPER hard from now on, I really am. Matt continues by saying there’s a mental illness epidemic because of square pizza. I’m sorry, I’m just going to have to ignore that, for two reasons now. Matt says that mental illness is lower in the Amish community partly because they rely less on technology. Me too, I never use my mobile which is why I’m perfect the way I am! At the risk of you not believing me, now I’m going to try ULTRA hard, which is even harder than super hard. It’s like with scales or should I say ‘modes’. The locrian scale/mode? (Despite studying music at university I’m not 100% sure of the difference). Very dark sounding. Super locrian? Even darker. But ultra locrian? Mental torture and THAT’S how hard I’m trying, I can do this. Another teacher who I think last time I called ‘Joachim’ (it made sense at the time, now it seems random) said a pupil dressed up as him on Halloween. Personally I’d have dressed up as Matt, he clearly has a preoccupation with crazy people. Oh God, you have no idea how hard this blog has been for me. Ah, I’ve just found out what the teacher just mentioned is really called: Mr. Dunham! Joachim Dunham? Probably not, but maybe I’ll found out later!

Matt says ‘there are no dumb questions.’ Oh thank God. So Joachim Dunham, do YOU think the ultra locrian scale is too far? Personally I can’t stand it. Here’s a more important question: What am I supposed to talk about??? Matt says the kids drive him nuts. Now I know that sounds like a reference to craziness but who knows, maybe the kids get in cars and delivery him nuts that way. That’s a nice thing to do, isn’t it? It’s STRANGE obviously but a perk of the profession! Mr. Dunham says substitute teaching is a great way to get your feet wet. What are the benefits of wet feet, I wonder? The internet has no clear answer, but it does say taking care of your feet at least ‘reduces stress and anxiety’. Yes, the teachers often complain of stress and anxiety! My advice? Bathe your feet whilst teaching, if for whatever reason teaching doesn’t end up getting your feet wet! Yes it would look odd, but it is worth it, I think!

Later on, the third teacher talks about Christmas and says he likes giving people gifts. Some of the gifts my brother gave me for Christmas seem a little strange. He got me CDs like I asked for, but it was the names of the CDs that caused alarm bells. One album was by the band ‘Rival Sons’. Was he trying to say something? Even worse, he got me ‘War is the Answer’ by Five Finger Death Punch. Arguably the worst album though was ‘Violence Unimagined’ by Cannibal Corpse. Did I say the wrong thing to him? I’m wondering what music he’d buy his son. My nephew likes Linkin Park, and they have an album called ‘Collision Course’. I wouldn’t want my brother to buy him that as he also buys him lots of toy cars! My sibling should really be encouraging road safety. Matt says men notoriously don’t give good gifts. I hope that’s what’s happening with my brother and something darker isn’t going on. At the end of the show, Matt says the podcast is partly for people who are interested in teaching. He’s not making the profession sound good, he’s making it sound really stressful! The food’s good though as are the nuts delivered by car and on that positive note, check the podcast out below and bye!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehENPRal0H8