Contest Blog 61! (Blog 337)

Maybe I should just call these contest blogs ‘The Matt Jones Show’. Because that’s basically what it is now. What has he got for us all this time? He has a stand up routine! I have to be honest, Matt, your Youtube video short of your performance cuts a lot of the funny stuff out. I get it though, sometimes I don’t know what my best stuff is. Is it funny? Is it just mental? Very hard to say, which is why I place great importance on giving my works read throughs the next day at very least. There’s nothing worse than posting something both nuts and not funny. Not just because it’s not entertaining, but because it sticks, too. Wow. Very scary. On the other end of the spectrum, posting something completely sane and not funny isn’t good either. e.g., ‘I just ate some bread!’ That’s it, post over. I have done that kind of thing before, but not on this site.

So how did Matt’s fuller show do? He talks about rednecks, and as I’m English, I’m not 100% sure what they are. I was given a clue when he did a redneck voice, though. I had a red neck briefly in May when it was hot and I was in the sun for a good few hours, but still I never talked like he did. I don’t really understand why I would. Sure the voice box is in your neck somewhere (I’d assume) but how much does it have to be heated for you to talk so strangely? Does only American heat stretch the voice box or something?? Maybe it could do if the voice box is very thin and delicate. Then I did some research and it seems rednecks are unsophisticated Americans who live in the country. Ah. My quest to study biology, over just like that. A shame right? But would YOU want me as your doctor?

In another video (I’m not stalking him, please believe me), Matt says he’s struggled to overcome social anxiety. Well… mission achieved if he’s a stand up, I guess. Maybe he could do with being a little more anxious though as shouting ‘Suck on these nuts’ over and over again can be perceived as threatening to some people. Funny to some people, sure (I’m guessing the more angry people, or confused hungry people), but in an audience the size he has, he’s taking a risk. Get ready for a furious ‘NO!!’, that’s all I’m saying. But if you can handle that? Then please continue with your routine. He’s also thinking big in that he explains he’d like to perform in front of more people! Wow, telling thousands of people who paid good money and travelled miles and miles to see you to suck on your nuts! Now THAT’S overcoming social anxiety. His psychiatrist (if he has one, which maybe he should) would be pleased. Anywho, check out his video below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGhGVHjtPlk

Now to change the subject! Famous Youtube speed drinker ‘Badlands Chugs’ always says ‘don’t touch that mouse’ at the start of his videos, and I always do. Multiple times, in fact. That’s a very common behaviour. I read that people act in such a way so it makes them harder to be controlled be dictators. No really, that’s what I read. I’m sure the internet personality doesn’t want to be perceived as a dictator, actually he comes across as friendly, but subconsciously at least, that’s how I see him. And so does everyone else. I wonder if real life dictators ever started small by saying ‘don’t touch that mouse’. Again, Badlands is NOT a despot or even a potential one, I’m just curious, that’s all. An evil person on the other hand, could say ‘Don’t touch that mouse, now let me control you. If you have a problem with that, you’re going to jail.’ And on that disturbing though scientifically backed note… Bye!