Contest Blog 77! (Blog 424)

Today in Matt’s promotion day, I will be discussing his video about self-treating anxiety. Matt finds tapping himself whilst thinking of the things that stress him calms him down? Wow, I’m the exact opposite. I ignore my problems and tap other people. (i.e. hit them). I find doing both of those things super therapeutic, but I have to say I prefer the latter. Only joking, but I have thought about hitting others, otherwise how did I write the preceding? I just type words without any conscious reasoning? THAT would be creepy. Luckily that hasn’t happened to me, if it does, I think it’s best to finally talk to someone as yeah, I don’t these writings to be total subconscious ramblings. Nope, on second thoughts my writing would be exactly the same, I’d just talk about pizza. Wow, I’ve brought up pizza again. For the sake of variety, I’d also talk about milkshakes, they’re good, too. I’m not saying the prior writing about assaulting others was the advice I’ve been given, if it was a serious crime has been committed, no I worked it out for myself. It should be noted I watch a lot of violent cop shows.

However I’m different to most viewers as I clearly get ideas not from the policemen, but those being arrested. Just because people hitting others commit felonies, doesn’t mean what they’re doing is 100% bad. It’s like drinking Lucozade. Yes it’s very sugary, but during a workout? Gives you a boost, doesn’t it? (I presume). Matt also talks about acupuncture. Again, I don’t want to be punctured by needles, but puncturing other people? I get how that’s appealing. As long as the needles are clean, I mean. Going to a dodgy acupuncture place in a shady part of town where needles are picked up off the street to save money? Not something I want to be a part of. Sure cause someone mild pain, that’s hilarious, but don’t go further than that. On the plus side, such places don’t exist. I mean what kind of person is so desperate he gets infected with diseases just so he can try to calm down? Forget the acupuncture, get SERIOUS therapy. Not from me, between you and me, my version of therapy is rubbish, seek a trained professional!

Now check out his video, below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyCE2C-Adoc

To conclude maybe I should write another apology for talking about pizza again? Clearly I find it hard to stop myself. I’ve visited the Papa John’s site 3 or 4 times today already, and I won’t be getting a pizza for another two days. The beautifully imperfect circles that are the pizzas, the creativity of the toppings and the descriptive but not ostentatious names of the meals? Wow. However, I must prioritise another video where I apologise about trash talking the lyrics of a Threshold album without properly paying attention to them. THAT’S bad. My site really is ridiculous, isn’t it? The things I say, the amount of times I say them AND the complete lack of research? Give me one example where that’s ok. I couldn’t make it as a psychiatrist, I would make the problem worse as explained, I couldn’t make it as news reporter, I’d just make up stories for attention, AND I’d make up the weather forecast for attention and because of boredom. To end on a positive note, these blogs haven’t been made up! Or does that make things worse?? And… bye!

No, actually there’s more… I actually tried tapping on myself when depressed and I genuinely felt better! Because of that, I gave Matt’s video extra points. I guess I’ll have to wait until I’m anxious before tapping on myself to see if that works. Maybe I should make myself anxious, now. Picture your mobile phone crashing, Simon, picture it now… Why did it crash? Was it something I said? (No really). Ok it’s very mild anxiety as the situation is fictitious, but I do think it’s worked! Honestly! I guess now it’s time to test my own theory out: Does hitting people make me feel better? Joking again, at least in a way, but I’m guessing it would. I’m hoping this apologetic extra paragraph has made the pizza repetitions right. I presume it’s annoying for most people, but the company may love it. If not, it’s unrequited love, which is sad. Probably a poor idea for a song, but certainly different. Now bye!