Dentist Part 342,998,888 (Blog 397)

As the title suggests, I’ve recently been to the dentist! There is also a bit of a lie in the title, but I was just trying to be interesting. To add just a bit of drama to the day, I drove past the place I usually park in, and I had to turn around and go back. I know that sounds like nothing, but it does cause me at least some stress actually. What if my satnav consequently ends up telling me to go in weird directions? It really shouldn’t do, but if you rush the device into updating the directions, it does get confused temporarily. Worst case scenario, I end up getting confused and you don’t want to be confused on the road. Embarrassingly, I (successfully) drove to the place the day before to check if there were any confusing roadworks to be wary of and there weren’t. The drive today should have been easy. :( More drama came in the form of needing to pee, but I wasn’t willing to go back to my house and go through the hell of checking if all the doors were locked, etc. As I arrived at the dentist’s town about 40 minutes early, I had about 35 minutes to go charity shopping (because I checked if my car was locked etc. for a good five minutes). The shop had no CDs! Surely they weren’t all bought in the last 6 months, which was the last time I checked there? If not, I’m wondering if they were simply thrown away. Bad practice clearly, but can you think of a quicker way to make space? :S

After that I went to the dentist! I asked if they had a toilet, and they did. Not too much drama there, but it was something to be appreciated. Then I had to do a whole lot of waiting around in the waiting area. After about 15 minutes, a receptionist asked if I had an appointment. She really thought I just turned up to use the toilet and to sit in silence for a long period? What kind of hobby is that? That’s not living. No my life isn’t that bad, I’m seriously praying it never will be. Also as I was waiting a song in the background went ‘we’re in Heaven’. In my case the words would be ironic. If you find using a toilet and sitting down heaven, you really are screwed. Really you’re screwed if anything about visiting the dentist is heaven for you. Eventually I was called in for my first appointment which was a checkup. Last time I visited the place, the dentist said the filling I had a while ago would need to be redone in the future. I checked with the dentist (who was different this time for whatever reason) if my filling did indeed need to be redone and I was expecting a confident answer, but that’s not what I got. He could have been thinking ‘I don’t know’, or he could have been thinking ‘whatever, I’m not bothered.’ (My suspicion). As I was getting the replacement there were lots of beeps and high pitched buzzing that I thought sounded funny. That was in stark contrast to the horror I was feeling, the next kind of appointment has always been painful.

Soon enough, I was called to get the horrifying hygiene appointment. That may sound harmless, but it really does involve a lot of pretty brutal and painful teeth scraping. I was asked if I’d been using mouthwash and I said ‘yes’. Then it was explained it’s mainly used for people with infections and that it’s been staining my teeth! I see. Why was than not warned on my mouth wash? It should say ‘kills 99% of bacteria, stains teeth’. Actually, I’m annoyed. I was then asked if I wanted a gel to numb the pain. I said yes even though last time it didn’t really seem to do much at all. This time however, I felt pretty much no pain! Not sure what was going on there. Maybe she just used more which is my suspicion. And of course the cleanup should have been even MORE painful not less so, because my theory is that I feel more pain when I’m in a better mood. I’ve been in a great mood recently, but to be fair the news of the mouthwash did spoil my mood, so things are complicated. It didn’t really matter if the wash made my teeth dirty though, as when I was back in my car, I checked my teeth and the stains were gone! Phew! When I asked if the stains were indeed gone and the dentist just said ‘yes’ I thought she was humouring me. I guess not! Again, now my teeth aren’t at all brown but a healthy and cheerful yellow! (I think brown brings up feelings of sentimentality or something). One last thing: The previous dentists apparently didn’t have the skills to remove the stains, but this one did, so check out the new first rate dentist in Ashford, ASAP! Bye!