Doctor Checkup Triple Blood Extreme (Blog 421)

Today I went to the doctor for my yearly (physical) health checkup. As I often do, I drove there last week to check if there were any sneaky road works etc. to fear and there weren’t, there were also none today. However what I wasn’t anticipating was me having trouble parking. On the plus side, I only had a bit of trouble. I guess it’s a busy area. Maybe lots of people visited the doctor at the same time as me. Let’s hope I didn’t make them sick, because it does happen. :( Soon enough in the health centre, I had my blood pressure and heart rate taken, which were a little higher than last year. I wish I had it checked after I had my blood sugar levels analysed, as I was feeling nervous about such levels, causing the high BP. (Probably). I just like sugary foods. THEN I had a good three bottles of blood taken from me and my sugar levels checked. They too were a little bit higher than last year, but certainly in the normal range, so I guess I’m going to carry on eating lots of unhealthy treats. Work hard, play hard.

I was told to weigh myself, and I found I’ve put on 5kg over the last year. Whether that’s muscle or fat I have no idea. Really I’d need to do a special test to find out, and if I enquired about it I’d look like a narcissist so I didn’t bother. I then had my height measured. I always thought I was 5 foot 4, today I was told I was 5 foot 6. Very strange. Maybe that’s where the extra 5 kilos came from. If I later get told I’ve lost the 5 kilos I’ve put on, then get told I’m 5 foot 4 again, something REALLY strange would be happening. ‘What are the bloods stolen from you checking for?’ I hear you cry? Lots of things. Glucose levels for starters, however I’m not too nervous about hearing the results of the test in a week or so for obvious reasons. The blood samples also check for anaemia. There’s a Deftones song that goes ‘in here we’re all anaemic’. Wanting to be seriously ill just so you can relate to a song is super dumb, so I do hope I’m fine.

Having said that, if I do have the condition, at least I’m 2 inches taller than I thought. Unless the nurse made a mistake when measuring which does sound likely. I informed the nurse I dribble at night because of the medication I’m on and I told her I’d researched the dribble meds and found they come with side effects. The nurse said they did have side effects, so I said I wouldn’t bother, then. At least drooling isn’t dangerous though, I was worried I’d get told it was. In an extreme case I could drown in my sleep maybe? Sounds a bit ridiculous. What did happen to me the other day, was I slept on my drool for ages and ended up very red faced for 15 minutes or so. After that, I had the idea of wearing a face mask I got from a Christmas mystery box and it did seem to help me stop sleeping on my spit at least a little bit. A bit weird because it looks like it’s better suited to helping people mug others whilst helping the offenders stay anonymous.

As I’m typing this up, I’m listening to the FANTASTIC album ‘Beside Myself’ by Basement. Best album I’ve bought in years! Annoyingly, out of the 12 albums I got for Crimbo, it’s the only one that skips in places. I mean yeah, I don’t want any of my albums to skip, but I certainly don’t want my fave to do so! Just yesterday I received an album in the post (I left the delivery guy a note telling him not to squeeze it through the letterbox again!) by a band called ‘We Were Promised Jetpacks’! What a name! The musicians will be delighted to hear that you can actually get jetpacks now. Does that mean they have to change their name? Nope, it still works, now the group are just stating a fact which is fine. Definitely looking forward to checking that LP out. Now what to say? Oh yes, when driving to the shops after having my blood robbed, I had more minor parking troubles. But then I was fine. Clearly filler material there, but this paragraph does need beefing up. Ok, that’ll do, bye!