Double Uncle 2: Mini Trains! (blog 272)

Yesterday, I went to a miniature railway place, with lots of tiny trains and carriages (or rather trays on wheels) to sit on. But trays are cool; squeezing into a tiny carriage would be hell. Bones would get broken and blood would be shed. That’s not family friendly. I didn’t go there on my own, there’s something unusual about a 33 year old riding tiny trains, solo. I wouldn’t say it would be CHILLING, but yeah, a bit odd. No, I went with my dad, my brother and my two nieces. Usually I want the weather to be rubbish, perhaps because subconsciously I want others to suffer with me, but that’s a very pessimistic thing to say. I read that people like rain if they’re neurotic, which is far more benign. Some people CAN be so edgy they end up attacking others, but that’s not me. Especially not in such an environment. I didn’t want apparently terrible weather on Sunday however, I wanted it to be sunny. That’s because my brother doesn’t feel the same way about the weather as I do. If it was raining, the event would have to be called off, like it was last week, and I’d have to resort to blogging about the traffic lights not changing for ages or something. Seriously, I saw green for well over a minute, eight days ago.

Anyway, I didn’t think much of the trains because I’m an adult and had seen them before when I was a child. My three year old niece on the other hand could well have been more impressed with the vehicles seemingly made for her, and thought ‘Finally. The toddlers are taking over.’ You never know, all they do is mumble hard to decipher words. She could have said something about taking over the world, I just wouldn’t have noticed. It’s quite possible she will now start demanding mini cars and buildings for herself. Luckily few people are so jaded they think small children want world domination, so if she did suggest something like that, all you have to do is say she’s joking. My nephew on the other hand wasn’t with us, as he’s only a few weeks old, and wouldn’t really understand the novelty of the trains at all. He’d be like ‘Whats all the fuss about? These things seem ideal to me. Very well proportioned and spacious.’

I don’t even think people that young can see properly so again, what would be the point? Other than of course, to experience the hardcore train speeds, but I don’t know if that would be fun or scary. Personally if I couldn’t see what was happening as everything around me rumbled for the first time ever, I’d be horrified. Though I guess small (or relatively small) things are generally regarded as cute. Even baby tigers come across as sweet. I’ve been pondering this for a while, and the only exception I can come up with is flesh eating bacteria. That’s not cute. Unless you’re sick. Well, maybe BABY flesh eating bacteria are cute? I really don’t know. On a lighter note, I saw a sign saying ‘Managing Committee’, but I pointed out how at first I thought it said ‘Menacing Committee.’ An excellent observation. What kind of business wants to scare its customers, right? Right??

As the train’s seats were very close to the ground, that only made them feel faster. It was kind of a mild thrill fest. If I fell off, I’d be stranded in the countryside and wouldn’t know where to go. Luckily I wasn’t (and I’m still not) 7 foot tall, or I would have hit my head on the bridge. I wouldn’t even have known it was coming as I was facing the wrong way. I’m surprised that wasn’t pointed out to me. Very dangerous. Perhaps worse, it would be a very embarrassing death. Luckily I’m a hardened go kart veteran, so I was used to high speeds low to ground. Even so, I’ve never driven a kart backwards. That kind of behaviour is seriously frowned upon in the track. In fact, that’s the kind of stuff that can get you banned. After the ride, we all went to a small ice cream shop. What would one ice cream do? They’re not that addictive… Well unfortunately I got a chocolate milkshake soon after getting home, when everyone was gone.

After leaving the mini place, I saw my sibling's new baby (explaining the double uncle part 2 title), in my brother’s abode. I don’t want to sound judgemental, but the micro child wasn’t really doing anything of interest. I’m glad I wasn’t offered to hold him like my dad was, as it kind of would have been too much for me. It would just make me feel awkward. This time however, I did poke him in the foot. That was the day out, really. As explained, I later got a milkshake but I also got some grapes to balance things out. Earlier I suggested I wouldn’t have the need to write about traffic lights again, but I did pass through three green lights in a row, on the way to the shops. Pretty special. Bye!