Family Get Together Plus Surprise! (Blog 504)

On Sunday afternoon, my brother, sister in law, two nieces and one nephew visited me and my dad! Before that though, me and my dad went food shopping! Being the efficient German that I am, I got my dad to pay for everything I wanted. I am part English as well obviously, and Google says English people are proud. And you know what? I was proud after getting my dad to pay for everything. I’m frugal, logical and I can clearly cooperate with others by not taking charge of funds. If I paid for stuff as well? That would suggest arrogance and poor shopping etiquette. Some may call German traits combined with English ones dangerous in that respect, you could basically call me a thief, but chocolates, fruit, ginger shots and high end yogurt are far from (too) expensive, so in this case proud efficiency wasn’t that bad. Due to unsavoury genetics, it’s only a matter of time before a father-son jewellery shopping incident and a boast about that on Facebook. As in ‘I got my dad to buy me a Rolex, jajajaja!’ Ohh if only I was German-Canadian. Canadians are supposed to be polite. Efficient politeness? Sounds delightful.

During the trip, my dad pointed out how my brother would be getting his toddler son to change a wheel later on in the day. I’m strongly presuming the story was to make me insecure as I am no mechanic, but whist my dad is efficient at hinting at the fact I can’t change wheels, he isn’t related to my mum like I am, my mum was Welsh and Welsh people are known for their poetry. If you’ve actually read the poetry on my site, you will know that it is genuinely God awful, so it makes you wonder how bad my dad’s poetry is. I can’t change wheels, I’ve only fairly recently learnt how to spell the full version of my middle name, and it takes me five or so minutes just to check if a door is shut, whereas it takes a normal person about 2 seconds. Fine, but can my nephew document the Dominant Egg’s rich interpersonal life like I can? Probably not. If he tried, the stories would most likely be filled with inaccuracies. I’d have to ask my nephew about that, but if I did, it would probably be mental abuse, technically speaking. As in what is the egg’s motivation? It’s not something the average infant can answer.

When my brother’s family eventually arrived, one of the first things my sibling said to me was ‘How’s tricks?’ I explained that I’d never heard that phrase before. I mean I KIND of tricked my dad earlier on by getting him to pay for everything, but there’s no way my brother could have known that. Unless maybe he assumed I did that as that’s what I always do and my dad told him about that. In that case… tricks are good! He then said ‘How’s tricks’ to my dad and he didn’t seem to fully understand the phrase either. My dad didn’t admit that though, he just winged things and said ‘Fine’. As always, I asked if the children were old enough to play games. Yes they are! Finally! However, there are no games consoles in my house that are set up, so it didn’t really matter. However, I can imagine playing them at games, and I think I would win. There are no mechanic simulator games are there? No, there can’t be. Too boring. Good!

Almost immediately, Haribo was shared (which was my idea) and once again it was me who enjoyed the sweets the most. It was the children who ate most of the crips on offer which makes me SOUND immature, but to be fair I ate some crisps beforehand, the same flavour too. You could make an argument saying that subconsciously I didn’t want more of the same, but no I do prefer Haribo over crisps, I admit it. My brother asked me what my favourite Haribo was and I said ‘Tangfastics are pretty good’. However, I said it in the same way the lead character in The Wrestler said ‘the maple glaze is not bad’ or whatever ham he really liked (it was that ham, I checked), again trying to make me sound tougher than I really was. No one seemed to notice what film I was inspired by. If they did, that’s more impressive than a toddler changing a wheel and A.I. in general and I’ll talk more about that soon!

My sister in law looked like she kept wanting to say something inspiring to me, but she had little chance as other people were talking. She eventually suggested going to the zoo again! I knew it! THAT’S inspiring, ah Whipsnade zoo the Tetralogy, I’ve been waiting to blog about that for a while. A nice day out, a fancy word. My brother then showed my dad the impressive power of A.I. by asking it questions on his phone and getting deep replies, but I found that a bit creepy. As in ‘A.I., what film was I inspired by when talking about Haribo tangfastics?’ ‘You were inspired by The Wrestler so that you didn’t sound like a five year old quite so much, but a hardcore fighter who is nearly 6 foot tall instead.’ Is that a worthwhile tool? I mean… I knew the answer to the question anyway.

Soon after all that stuff that came the event I was intrigued by yet fearful of, that being the toddler wheel changing. My nephew at least partially took the wheel off my dad’s car but he did need help. Phew! Not truly outstanding and not self esteem crippling, a solid B grade, there. The wheel was never put back on so you could most certainly not drive the car anywhere, even for a little bit (unless you’re mental) but again, a solid start. Did I end up feeling less than my nephew? No, he is a damn fine mechanic and someone to genuinely look up to hence my B. However, did he spot The Wrestler reference? I very much doubt it. I mean he’s never even seen the film. Having deep knowledge of a movie he doesn’t even know about? THAT would make me insecure, if anything it would be more creepy than A.I. The fact I keep talking about that shows how wounded I am. Anyway, give him just a few more lessons and he’d easily get a solid A star. Now please replace my cracked CD cases with new ones because it sounds too fiddly for me! Bye!