Flood Defier! (Blog 417)

You know how I was saying some of the local roads have been flooded, so I couldn’t go to the gym? Before going to bed on Wednesday night I had a great idea - go AROUND the floods. So simple it’s genius, right? Sadly I got the exact directions from an online route planner, but still the idea for internet research was mine. The planner didn’t tell me to drive through the floods, it gave me an alternative route without me even asking it to! THAT’S technology for you, wow. Again, it’s not truly me thinking for myself, but still the situation is at least a small boost for me. Not a next level boost, but definitely a noticeable one. The real challenge will be getting to the gym and back all on my own. They’re a range of possible outcomes. A completely successful drive WILL be a next level boost for me, no question; a drive with occasional hiccups will be one of those common though still sought after noticeable boosts; me getting lost will be no boost whatsoever; and me getting seriously lost and calling the AA will scar me and be considered a terrible minus boost!

It's now Thursday. I’ll tell you an idea I came up with myself: When leaving the gym, I will tell my Satnav to go to Brooklands College and THEN home. Doing so should avoid a rather long, surely flooded road the route planner didn’t warn me about today like it did yesterday. At least I think it did. It seems the site isn’t as intelligent as I suggested earlier. Unless the floods on the lengthy road are gone now/were never there, then I apologise. I’m just saying the road I intend to avoid is right next to a river, so hm. Should be flooded? I don’t know, maybe not. Not sure what’s going on with the planner, there. Worst case scenario, it’s all random. (Yes, this paragraph is a bit random in terms of structure, but it was the best I could do. I think it’s best to admit defeat. I'm sorry, but I have a life to lead and I want to move on). If the webpage is random, it doesn’t know what it’s on about and I consequently end up getting lost in my car, I could end up running out of petrol mid-journey. When I call the AA and I explain that it wasn’t really my fault, it was the RP, they’d just be like ‘Can’t you think for yourself??’ Then I’d be like ‘well… not really, no. :(‘

‘Hang on, why are you going one way forward, and a different way back?’ Ohhh never mind. Long story short, I do kind of know what I’m doing but not completely, let’s just leave it at that and move on. Now what to say? Oh yes, I went to Brooklands college, you know? I was actually the only person on my course to get an award! Amazing, right? However, it was explained to me I didn’t get it so much because I was the best student, but because I made so much progress. I must have really worked hard to get it?? Nope, I put in a normal amount of effort, however at the start I was depressed and couldn’t be bothered at all. A huge contrast, and that impressed others. So yeah, at the end of the day I got an award for being normal. Either that, or I got an award for my mental health and people were too embarrassed to say that. Makes sense, I suppose.

Why did I suddenly do the work of a normal person? Well, I asked if I could get into university if I did well enough and I was told ‘yes’. Wow, very exciting! I loved the idea of studying music at university. Little did I know at the time the uni course was not so good. I mean it was alright, but rather minimal. I learnt more about essay writing than I did composition, but that did work out for me, as I write a lot oooobviously. It’s just that my music… kinda sucks. It’s with great shame I say I wanted to be the next John Williams. My tunes are better than my sense of direction, though! :D Now what to say?? Oh yes, I’ll bring my mobile with me just in case. Desperate times call for desperate measures. NOW there’s nothing relevant to say. I guess I could beef this paragraph up with a story: Last time I went into London someone was looking at me like ‘Do you remember me?’ I was thinking ‘Nope’, but as I’m typing I actually do think I remember him. But it doesn’t really matter as I don’t think he liked me anyway. Now’s the time for my odyssey!

Right, it’s now Friday and the good news is that I’m not still lost! Not only that, I only got a tiny, tiny bit lost yesterday on the way back home, so… super buzzin’! It was a bit annoying how what usually would have been a five minute journey to the gym lasted over half an hour, a bit surreal, even. During the last two minutes of my travels I noticed that I was only about a mile and half from my home! If the roads weren’t flooded, I mean. Even more annoying is the fact I must have spent £10 on petrol for one day out! I could have probably walked to the gym in half an hour, but I would at very least get wet feet. Ever wondered what dry feet are worth? Well, it’s £10 isn’t it? You know how I criticised the route planner earlier for saying I’d be driving through floods on the long road? My bad, I took a wrong turn, drove through the long road by accident, and there were no floods. Well done route planner. After my working out session and after leaving the gym on foot, I couldn’t enter the written postcode to put into my Satnav as it was too dark. What do I do? There was nothing I could do, right? Nope, I used the light from my navigation device as a torch, lighting up my paper and then I was fine. A neat little move I was particularly proud of.

On the way back, I stopped off at my old college for a mysterious practical reason similar to the one mentioned earlier, but I also had a look around the place in my car, simply because I found it trippy. I hadn’t been there since the age of 19! After another quarter of an hour so of driving, I reached my home petrol station where I bought some tasty chocolates for me. I’d earned them. It was there I noticed a numberplate with JFK on it, only lightening the mood further. I don’t celebrate the man’s death, the plate was just a coincidence and that’s what made me happy. Talking of number plates, just today I saw one ending in XXX! Here’s a thought, why is X the coolest letter? Is it because it’s symmetrical? But A, H, I, M, O, T, U, V, W AND Y are symmetrical! Is it because the word ‘ecks’ sounds cool? No, I think ‘Jay’ sounds better. Then again, not symmetrical. I think X should be pronounced ‘jay’, then it would be perfect. Bye!