Hair cut part Simon’s number (Blog 402)

Tomorrow I’ll be getting my hair cut! Last time I wrote about such an event (or maybe the time before last #notsure) a credit card machine stole my credit card. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen again as I try to withdraw cash for the barber. If it does, not only will it be annoying, I will make a link between hair cuts and lost debit cards, which of course is a delusion. Or is it? Maybe I’d be onto something. A curious mind is both a blessing and a curse. I’m not sure what the odds of getting your card thieved is. I have seen someone else get a stolen card, and as I was right behind her in a queue, it could have so easily been me again! In that case, I may have made a link between stolen cards and petrol station hash browns or whatever it was I’d soon be paying for. Maybe it was a kebab. I wonder what the delusion there could have been. The kebab illuminati, could be basically anything. :S

As I’m writing, I’m waiting for an album I ordered on Amazon. I usually wouldn’t be too interested in music at the moment, as I’ve bought enough albums recently and I hate reordering my massive collection as everyone knows, BUT there were two copies of the album selling for around £40 and another copy apparently in ‘good’ condition selling for 50p. That’s a steal isn’t it, even with the £2 posting charge. I had to have it and had to make another handwritten note for the postman not to post the CD, but leave it on the doorstep. What do I want to say to the seller? I mean I guess… thank you? I’m just saying, even if he gets paid the minimum wage, it wouldn’t be worth his time packaging and distributing it. Maybe he’s just a great guy. I’ll tell you who else is great… Papa Johns! Is me writing a thank you letter to the establishment as a monologue sucking up to them? They won’t be paying me, but arguably that’s worse. But there are just so many happy times, though.

As I’ll be getting my hair chopped at 12:45, that means I’ll have to be super quick writing about the experience when back home, otherwise I’ll have to post this blog on a Sunday. That’s because I leave for the gym around 3:30 and after the session I like to have a takeaway. I don’t HAVE to, no one is forcing me to, if they did that would be an ultra weird mix of tyranny and kindness, I just have a routine I like to stick to. I guess it’s not the end of the world if I post on Sunday, but if I don’t post something and people don’t point out how weird I am, I just don’t feel myself. Something’s not right. I could try and make others impressed with me instead, but whilst it is doable impressing others with intelligence and fab jokes about bees, it’s more or less impossible impressing others with my personality.

Now what to say? Ok, you may be wondering what the mysterious steal of an album I bought was… Well, it’s ‘99th Dream’ by Swervedriver, a very underrated band. If I were to call them the greatest group of all time, that would overrate them and when everything averages out the band members get treated fairly. Anyway, good luck finding it for under £40, now! Actually, no. Having looked at the American version of the site, you can get quite a few copies new, for under $5. Dammit. Still though, a steal in the UK. I’m not encouraging stealing, by the way. It’s just that talking about my personality and stealing… people could get the wrong idea. Now what to say? It’s incredibly difficult writing about things that haven’t happened yet, you know? I think I’ll stop this blog and do something else. It’s just this paragraph… it’s just a tiny bit short. And now it’s not! Great! The kind of writing you’d expect from a 7 year old, but not bothered.

(A day passes)

I have my CD! Annoyingly it was posted not left by the door, but that was completely understandable as the case was paper thin and the delivery blended in with the rest of the more regular mail. :) On the plus side, as the case is cardboard you can’t crack it! You can bend it though, and that’s what’s happened. Not only that, as it’s so thin, I don’t have to rearrange my collection, instead I can just squeeze it in without issue. £2.50 well spent! Let’s play it now… Great stuff! Having Googled the band, turns out I have all of their albums now! What’s the best one? I’d have to say ‘Mezcal Head’, an album immortalised by PS1 game ‘Road Rash’. Maybe it’s a bit of a shame the band are associated with kicking policemen off motorbikes and riding over old people with zimmer frames, I can empathise as sometimes I worry that’s how people perceive me. Ah. I know why the CD was so cheap now, it only has four tracks on it. Something weird as flip is going on here, some sites say it’s a single, others say it’s a full album! :S

…

I’ve had my hair cut! Withdrawing the money was a bit anxiety-inducing, but after doing something unpleasant, you do get at least a small buzz. I wasn’t super buzzing though, which is for the best as I had to drive to the barber’s. And of course, even without the driving, an extreme high from such a small stimulus suggests a severe brain abnormality. A fun guy to hang around, or just plain crazy? Whatever the case, I’ll call a taxi. In the hair cutting place, I was asked if I’d been doing any more writing. Yep, this blog! I didn’t say that though, I just said ‘yes’. Would the guy want to read this post? Would he want to be associated with someone who values anti-psychotic medication over his family? (Or at least lots of my family). If someone came up to me and told me that, I would be genuinely scared. However, the guy gave my hair a damn good trim and that’s something to be happy about! Great stuff. That’s it! Bye!