Haircut With A Twist! (Blog 581)

Yesterday, I got my haircut! Have you ever heard of the bald man paradox where if you only lose one hair a day it’s far from going bald at all, suggesting that if the same thing happens for thousands of days you’re not going bald then either as the change is so slight, but at the same time you are? It’s hard to explain, of course it is, it’s a paradox. There’s a Youtube video about it, though. It’s not one of the best paradoxes as who notices losing a hair every day? You’d have to keep your eyes peeled 24/7 and not only that, you’d have to count every hair every day to check if you were indeed losing one. I know this is coming from me, but you’re wasting your life! I can only imagine the emotional pain that would come from counting every hair on your head, it really would be a full time job. Not only would you not get paid, that kind of behaviour would suggest no one would hire you for anything, you’d just be checking your hair all the time. Things are made infinitely more complicated when you realise you naturally shed dozens of hairs a day that grow back. Schrodinger’s cat is a REAL paradox. A cat being alive and dead at the same time? Wow. Interestingly I find easier to explain! If you don’t believe me, I’ll do it now: If one atom can be in two places at the same time, and one position triggers the death of a cat and the other doesn’t, that means the cat is both alive and dead! Just a neat way to introduce things. Right!

Where’s the twist of the haircut? You know how I keep going on about me never shaving when I see my brother’s family and I shave every two days? Well, as I like to look both fresh-headed and fresh faced after coming home from the barber, I shaved yesterday whereas I’d normally shave today. That means if I STILL don’t shave when I see my brother’s family, that would be funny and it would also be funny if I started shaving when I DO see my family as it suggests life is deliberately trying to screw with me in a way I can’t explain. It’s a win-win situation! Anyway, before getting my hair cut, I thought it would be cool to check out the three local charity sops for CDs as I haven’t been to them in a while, now. On the way, I saw a MVH numberplate… Mama Van Halen! I really am on my way to spotting the whole Van Halen family in numberplate form, now! I noticed one CD was called ‘Back to Bedlam’ and Bedlam is an insane asylum… It was by James Blunt! Is that like his heavy metal project, or something? It certainly sounds very metal. His songs are called things like ‘You’re Beautiful’ which is weird, although I do find mentally ill people to be more attractive so actually it does make sense. I soon found the 2nd charity shop had closed down. Why? Maybe because no one wants to hear a metal version of James Blunt? No, that doesn’t make sense. Unless there is a crazy person who keeps buying such albums and then donates them over and over again, maybe? THAT’S odd…

In the 3rd shop, I noticed an Ed Sheeran album called ‘X’. Is that his ‘adult’ project? I hope not, it would be inappropriate. Maybe it refers to Twitter… There was also a Celine Dion album called ‘Let’s Talk About Love’ which is the exact opposite of the Van Halen song ‘Ain’t Talkin’ ‘bout Love’, so I wasn’t interested. Long story short, I bought no CDs. After the browsing, I drove to the hair cutter. There was nobody there! Oh no. I went to another shop and on its clock, I noticed I was almost ten minutes early, so there you go. Damn my super-punctual nature, I’m sure he’d turn up soon. To pass the time, I had a wander around the village. A nice village, though I did notice it had a funny smell I hadn’t experienced before. What did it smell of? I don’t mean to sound like a weirdo, but I thought it smelt of depressed people. Maybe I’m just mad. Anyway, if it turned out that the barber simply didn’t bother turning up to work, that would make me angry as I had a dream early in the morning where I forgot to go to my appointment. I felt bad for missing it in my dream, whereas the barber clearly doesn’t care! Anyway, he did turn up to work, I was just early. As I was getting my hair cut, a little bit of snot slowly dribbled down my face, and as both my hands were under a black sheet there was nothing I could do. It was cool snot though, in a way it was strangely refreshing! I guess that’s a twist, too. And bye!