Happy Birthday? (Blog 381)

I’m 35 today, as is Jack Whitehall, BUT will I be celebrating my birthday today? No. Why not? Because I hate birthdays? Oh my word no, birthdays are filled with fun and flavour, it’s just that I’ll be celebrating tomorrow. Simply because it’s more convenient if I do so on a Saturday. Well convenient for everyone else, anyway, it makes next to no difference to me as I spend most days alone in my room. Really all days kind of blur into one huge super day. I do know what day it is a good 100% of the time, (unless I wake up in the middle of the night, but why not turn the confusion into a fun gambling game where you try and guess?) but yeah, most days really are pretty similar. Saturdays are an exception as I get takeaways on that day (you know when people say ‘if you do too much of anything, it gets boring’? - they’re wrong), and Sundays are an exception as I take it easy and don’t go to the gym. Yes, I don’t go to gym on the day of the London Comedy Writers meeting either, but such Tuesdays are different to Sundays in that it’s probably best if you don’t take it TOO easy on them, for example by throwing money in the air and yelling ‘everything’s ok, look at me!’ That’s bound to attract unwanted attention. Ok, I don’t do that on a Sunday either, but if I ever won the lottery? Sure I would.

As I’m typing, I’m not completely sure what my party plans are, but if I have lots of free time later on in the day, I’m considering making a sequel to my spoon finding game ‘Dying Man’s Wish’. If you don’t know, that was an RPG about finding a very special spoon for you guessed it, a dying man. The sequel in mind is called ‘Dying Man’s Honour’ and it will be about getting vengeance on someone who called the dying man a ‘fool’. You’ll have to toughen yourself up before confronting the aggressor, by battling monsters, etc. It was a fair amount of work making a whole RPG, so I might not bother, but there were good times, too. Hm. Tough one. In my first game I never made a dungeon, so DMH could be a huge underground-fest. Sadly however, I made castles, rural towns and futuristic cities in my debut, so I’ve kind of used up most of the environments I can work with. I could download some more from the internet, but of course I’m not going to do something like that. I’ll also be needing more music to work with and again, could I be bothered to sort it out? Probably not.

Now what to talk about? I know, I’ll soon be eating a banana. If that seems like an exceptionally uninteresting story to you, you’re right, which is why I’m looking forward to my birthday so much. Later I’ll be cycling to the gym, not driving, because my car’s bumper is being repainted (you may remember the distressed member of the public who reversed into me) but I guess the journey will be at least reasonably fun. It’s been too long, bicycle, there were some good journeys on it. Talking of the excessively reversing driver, instead of giving him the details of a car repairer so he could pay him, I almost gave him the details of a mini steam engine company! Remember when my dad ordered a small steam engine? Imagine the call that would have been if I didn’t eventually see reason! Part of me wishes I did give the wrong details, I could easily get a whole blog out of that. Absolutely hilarious. Anyway, the banana. What was it like? Not bad! Not too hard, not too soft. But when compared to my upcoming birthday? Again, very trivial, I’m sure! :D

(A day passes).

You know when I implied I did the prior writing today? I told a lie, I actually wrote it yesterday because I had lots of free time. But I don’t think it really matters. Maybe it’s worth pointing out if I ever get found out and accused of blog lying, but that’s certainly never happened to me before. (Because I never blog lie. Not just for you, but in case I get extremely confused when reading such blogs years later). Whatever the reason of pointing that out, now you know. I have to admit, I actually wrote the immediately prior sentences yesterday, too. But the writing from now on, will in fact be written on a Friday.

(A real day passes).

Ok, NOW I’m writing on a Friday, I’m being for real this time. To start the day, I checked my emails. I had one from Facebook saying ‘I had a Facebook memory to look back on today’, that being July 7th, 1988 - my birthday. First up, I can’t remember being born, second, in all other cases, such ‘memory reminding’ emails remind me of Facebook posts I posted exactly a year ago (those messages aren’t wanted either - who cares? It’s spam). So you can imagine my surprise when I saw a far more ancient one. The site wasn’t even running in 1988, far from it. I guess I get surprised easily. The truth is I haven’t got much to write about, the day has just started. So sorry, Facebook. After I checked my emails, I posted my Twitter joke of the day with the hashtags ‘lol’ and ‘joke’. I posted them the wrong way around again which usually genuinely annoys me, but I wasn’t annoyed today and I think that shows good times are here. A good omen. I still have no car, so I can’t go to the petrol station to get my hash browns. Not to worry, I boiled some noodles instead, and for the price I was genuinely impressed. Yum yum. I could have ridden my bike to the shop technically speaking, but I couldn’t be bothered. ‘But you haven’t ridden in ages! Surely it would be fun!’ Hmmm… Riding my bike to the gym yesterday wasn’t as exciting as I’d hoped it would be. It was alright, though. :) Now what to say? Not a lot, so I guess I’ll do something else. Bye!