Hiking Machine Fun (Blog 363)

Shown above are hiking machine graph examples that are often displayed on the exercise equipment’s screen. They show how fast you work out and how fast you accelerate. The higher the line the faster you go, but that’s irrelevant in this article. The more vertical the line, the faster you accelerate, curved lines show slower accelerations. THAT’S relevant. You will notice the graphs come under category A and category B. A’s are considered (by me - my rules) vertical accelerations, category B’s are considered curved. So what? Well, once you understand the rules of A’s and B’s you can make palindromes out of them! Fun stuff. For example, say you take 5 breaks when working out. You will have five graphs with a huge range of possibilities. If you get A A B A A, well done, that’s a palindrome. If you get A B A A A, that’s rubbish try again. And why is this a blog not a monologue? It would have been the latter, but basically, I couldn’t work how to attach the artwork to it. Blogs on the other hand are no issue!

Intro over, let’s talk the main shapes you will see in more detail. I’ve given them over the top names to really get the player excited and motivated…

A 1: The super perfect run!

This graph is sadly relatively rare, but when you experience it, the sheer flawlessness of it gives you an indescribable mental boost. There’s absolutely no ambiguity here, it isn’t curved in any shape or form.

A 2: The acceptably late rise fandango

Note how this shape may not LOOK like it’s truly vertical and there seems to be somewhat of a curve, but as it rises relatively late, it still qualifies as A. As long as the rise happens after about a 5th of the way through the horizontal line, it is considered vertical. Not as good as a perfect run, sure, but if the graph puts you on the path of a palindrome or even better, FINISHES the palindrome, then you can celebrate.

A 3: Late craziness party

See how it goes crazy after at least a fifth of the way through? That’s fine, too. Doesn’t matter at all, in fact. Getting you hyped???

A 4: The harmless mini blip coolness

Note how you can’t see a white gap in the blip of this example. That means it’s perfectly fine and the mini rise can be ignored, no matter how far across the line it happens!!

A 5: Early spike thrill-fest

This one may LOOK like a curved intro, actually it has a feature that makes it straight. Note how the latter part of the graph is the same height as the front of it? That’s ok, obviously.

A 6: Up and down mega-fun

Similarly this is ok because the last part of the graph is not higher than the spike. Easy? Well, don’t take off your thinking cap yet, as there is a similar graph that is NOT category A. Keep with it!

B 1: The ultra step

Steps in the first part are never ok if you’re seeking out a vertical graph. Very easy to spot, and when you do? Nooooo. :( Or yeaaaah! Could go either way depending on your run!

B 2: Higher ultra step

Just because the step is higher up, doesn’t make it ok if you’re looking for something more vertical again… For whatever reason, these are more common as the prior example. A game filled with mystery.

B 3: Extended blip coolness

This example may look like example A 4, but there is a white gap in the blip and that’s not ok if you’re hoping for a category A graph. Unless of course the blip happens after about a 5th of the horizontal line.

B 4: Up and down mega fun alternative version

Unlike examples A 5 and A 6, this graph qualifies as a curve because the last part of it is higher than the spike. You can’t have that.

B 5: The classic curve

If you think this example is vertical you are a complete noob who needs to study this hobby much harder. Interestingly, this case is exceptionally rare. In fact I’ve never seen such a perfect, continuous slant. Even if I had a perfect run of 4 A’s and needed one more, I’d rather see a B 5 than any of the more common A’s.

B 6: Extreme craziness

Not straight at all. There’s not a chance in hell this can be considered category A.

Ok! There aren’t really many rules in this game and they are fairly easy to understand with the practice I’ve had, anyway. Ok, working out exactly a fifth of a distance is hard, but as long as the distance is roughly a fifth that should be ok. Don’t take it too seriously, it’s just for fun. :) Maybe if it really takes off and it becomes an international sport, computers can be used to work out exactly what qualifies as a 5th, but until that time, the idea is to make working out more wacky. Bye!