Insane Birthday Party! (Blog 335)

Yesterday and round brother’s house, I celebrated my youngest niece’s fourth extreme birthday party! Starting this blog off light, I was soon offered some very spicy crisps, and I pointed out how I had the exact same product earlier on in the day. Not a hilarious anecdote, but definitely worth pointing out. Because I had the same food previously, I asked for another brand of crisps that were coincidentally less spicy. I wasn’t being a crisps chicken by opting out of the hotter snacks, again, I just wanted variety. It was pointed out by my brother and sister in law that I used Christmas wrapping paper for my present I brought with me, but I didn’t think it mattered as my niece couldn’t read. Yes, birthday wrapping would be better simply because it suggests I care more, (if my niece did suss out what was going on) but my dad lied and said he didn’t have any. Well ok, I didn’t ask him, but if I did he would.

Soon enough, I gave my niece my squishy toy cat present. When her parents asked about her it, the toddler said it was a leopard which was completely fine. Naturally, there are no cats or leopards that are multicoloured like my gift was, so how could she make an informed decision? There are certainly no green, blue and purple or whatever cats/leopards, so yeah, either answer was super duper. Actually, she gets extra points for knowing an obscure animal. Though having thought about it, it is far less dangerous covering a pet cat in multicoloured paint than a wild leopard, so her saying ‘cat’ would perhaps make a bit more sense. Yes, yes, yes, it’s morally wrong to paint any animal, BUT if you were forced to paint one, you’d paint the cat wouldn’t you? That’s all I’m saying. A painful situation for animal lovers, but safe. That’s all. Ok?

My gift even had a note around its neck saying when its birthday was. Yep, the toy has one day of the year to party. (Unless it also parties on new year’s day, maybe). Whether such a party would ever be taken seriously by anyone, I don’t know. I mean I’d doubt it, but there are some wacky people out there. But I don’t think my brother and his wife fits the profile, and I’m not sure if the toddler would understand such a strange concept. Perhaps for those reasons, it was best the note went unnoticed. Other presents of interest my niece received were toy animals that you can colour in and wash off in a special bath! It put my ambiguous and unrealistic animal to shame, but here’s a lesson for you: Never bathe a leopard someone has painted. It would be SO angry.

My brother showed off his tiny toy remote control car with indicators; that could reach speeds of 20 mph; and only cost him £30! I’m not 100% sure if it was for his baby son or him, but whatever the case, it was super impressive for the money. It was pointed out that is was made in China, and I pointed out how many people there work from 9 AM to 9 PM, six days a week. Let’s face it, some Chinese people are getting enslaved making such products. But look on the bright side, your products ARE good. Some very tired people but very proud people, I’m sure. Personally I’d raise the price. Not just for ethical reasons, but because if you did so, people would assume it’s better. And it is better than most toys. A win-win situation.

I was offered some birthday cake which is good because I was eyeing it for a while. I wasn’t offered any KFC when it arrived though, but it wasn’t my party, I guess. As he doesn’t seem to like anyone in his family, my dad said he should be getting home, but he was ignored for about half an hour which was funny. You know when I mentioned the lack of chicken? Not to worry, on the way home, I got two chocolate bars advertised as both 30P and £1. Needless to say very confusing for shoppers, but luckily I paid the cheaper price. Which is good because the bars were tiny. Day over, basically! I may have put some of the events in slightly the wrong order, because I was a little spaced out as always, but I do remember the day, honestly. The worst case scenario is that my family will be slightly confused when/if reading this. Not so bad. Bye!