It’s Still January (Blog 493)

I’m not really sure what to blog about, but as I was told many years ago now to write four blogs a month, I guess I’m stuck. I was praying not to have to blog about updating my computer again and I have got my wish, but that does of course mean I have even less to write about. Hmmmmmm. Would it annoy you if I say I’ve eaten pizza again? Because I ate some leftovers to start the day. No, I’ll move on for the sake of my own sanity. I’ve just Googled how many sides a circle has out of curiosity and they have none! All these years I thought they had one! It could have been worse for me though, there was a part of me that was thinking a circle could have had infinite sides, I’d be WELL off! How many sides does a semi circle have, then? Half of none? I’m just asking because in infant school I was told they have two sides which is infinitely more. Let’s see if the internet can prove my old teacher wrong. Oh ok, they DO have two sides. I swear I was told by the teacher that circles had 1 side, though. Doesn’t it sound cruel that a teacher of 6 or 7 year olds dealt with advanced concepts like that?

Who was the person who gave me the website advice I just talked about? I’m not 100% sure. A mysterious Greek guy I met in a pub to discuss work. He wasn’t willing to hire me, but he did at least suggest I start up my own website and that’s what I did, obviously. I’ve just Googled him and in his profile pic he’s wearing sunglasses. It doesn’t get much more mysterious than that. He might as well be dressed all in black and wear a balaclava and maybe a hat tilted a little to the side. I hate to sound all over the place, but I’ve Googled if circles have infinite sides and Google says ‘yes’. How did my teacher have it in her to teach about a concept so complex NO ONE seems to know the answer? You know what? I think circles have neither 1 side, zero sides or infinite sides, I think they have 34,222.1 sides. My reasoning? It’s somewhere in the middle, isn’t it? What’s half of infinity? Could be anything. Apparently as the universe is infinite there is no centre, so the centre is everywhere and technically you and I are in the centre right now. Therefore we can conclude that if circles do have infinite sides, the centre is everywhere, i.e. half of all answers are right. (Because half is in the centre, isn’t it. Well half of a line is at very least). For example if I were to say circles have 50,000 sides, that would be wrong, but 25,000 would be right. Confusing? I’m confused, too. Even so, that’s what I will tell the next toddler I come across, see how he likes that.

You know when I said good luck shifting my top 5 albums? I sounded pretty confident about that, didn’t I? Well Tool’s ‘Aenima’ has to be in there somewhere so I just now shifted them myself. You may be getting the feeling my writings aren’t to be fully trusted, especially as I seem to contradict and then apologise about so much of what I say. But you know what? I am more trustworthy than a circle. Squares have four sides, I know that much. I also mentioned how I’d be checking out all of the Weezer albums. I was hoping (and assuming) they’d all be popular and I wouldn’t have to buy any second hand copies. Not true, album ‘Pinkerton’ only has one 2nd hand version available on Amazon. Please don’t buy it, I want it. Now what to say? I will be washing my car later. Not worth mentioning? Nope, my hands will be freezing. Some parts of the country have had nighttime temperatures of minus 17 degrees celsius, I’d love to get out of bed and wander around such parts out of curiosity, it would definitely remove the hassle of travelling all the way to Antarctica to feel such temperatures. A few seconds, that’s all I want, then I can go back to bed.

As per usual on a Sunday, I will be playing more guitar with all my free time and all. (I don’t go to the gym EVERY day, or I’d go mad). As I’m 36 it’s too late for me right? I’m too old? I’d never get better at the instrument? Actually I’m improving all the time! How inspiring? Well my definition of improving may be different to yours. What I really mean is I’m getting faster, but of course if you’re a fan of 80s shred guitar, faster is synonymous with better. A jazz guitarist would say something like ‘if you play a wrong note, play it again and it won’t seem like a mistake.’ A shred guitarist on the other hand would say ‘play notes so fast you can’t even make out their pitch. If you do that, who really cares if you make a mistake? No one would ever be able to notice.’ I think both are valid. Check out record breaking guitarist Della Vega playing ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ at 750 bpm. You tell me you can make out every single note. It’s impressive stuff, but sadly Mr. Vega would be a bizarre choice for any kind of jazz band, everything would be a blur. Blur bop? Maybe that could be a thing after all. It has a ring to it at least. I’m wondering what the composer of FotB would say about Della’s playing? Maybe he’d just say ‘I appreciate you learning the song, but you really have misunderstood my musical vision. Well done, though.’ And that’s all I can think of to say. Not much of a diary at all, but I tried. And bye!