Japanese Number Suggestions (Blog 303)

I mentioned a while ago how Japanese words and letters look really cool, yet the Arabic numbers used by the Asians are both ill-fitting and dull, relatively speaking. So what I’ve done, is make my own Japanese numbers that are both clear to everyone in the world (after a little bit of familiarisation) and far more stylish. Why isn’t this a monologue? Well, for the second time, I can’t workout how to combine pictures with writing in such articles, only blogs. But I don’t really think it matters, as I’ve already done this month’s four blogs, so…

Starting with number one, do Japanese words ever use circles? If not, this one is going to take you be surprise, a little. Even so, it still has a Japanesey feel, and only requires the writer to add two more lines to the standard number. It’s not a perfectly symmetrical number, but in comparison, some of the best numbers out there aren’t symmetrical either. Check this one out: 12343221. I like how the extra 2 takes you by surprise.

Number two is a little weirder with the star, but other than that and the circle, you just need to draw five more lines. What’s great is the fact stars also feature in the Chinese flag, thus bringing the two countries closer together. Power through language! The pen is mightier than the sword, and all that.

Number three is one of the tamer numbers I came up with, but maybe subconsciously, I was thinking the writer has more ‘threedom’ for his own interpretation. (No, I never studied psychology, but I would have liked to). By that I mean, some of the later numbers require somewhat more strict artwork. Why? Read on.

Let’s face is, four is bizarre. There’s less ‘threedom’ here, rather than drawing basic lines that can pretty much be as short or as long as you like, you have to draw a shoe of all things. However, I am by no means suggesting the writer of such a number has to be skilled at drawing the items. Almost everyone above the age of five can draw things that at least resemble them. Ok, I didn’t draw the footwear you see, I got the picture from a list, but even so, I can draw them. (If you thought I did draw it, thank you for believing in me).

Number five! Who doesn’t like to see a fancy top hat? Which is why I included one here. The arrow facing upwards hints at positivity, and the lack of curves takes the number into uncharted territory and the future.

Using my art program’s curved line tool on the number 6 was extremely difficult, so it looks a bit odd, but you get the general idea. Yep, your eyes aren’t deceiving you, there’s a bunny rabbit in the number. Such a satanic number needs cute-ing up in my opinion. Let’s make six fun again.

Seven is fairly familiar, but I have beefed it up with several more lines. Maybe seven lines would be good, but we’re in the world of numbers aren’t we? Little makes sense. By that I mean, I’d spell eight, ‘ate’. Not ‘aygut’. :S And I’d pronounce ‘one’ ‘own’. Or ever better, ‘pown’.

For number eight, I’m reminded of spears and shields, bringing a history lesson to the reader. Yes, it’s certainly a random history lesson, and even bringing up the subject in the world of maths is pretty odd, too. In fact it’s random in almost every way, but look me in the eye and tell me you’re happy with drawing the standard two circles. OBVIOUSLY they need spicing up.

If you ever thought the number nine was sexist, I bring you bad news: My version of the number features not a woman but a man inside it. For that I apologise.

Yep, the nought has a slice of pizza in it. And why not? The number could be interpreted as ‘no pizza’, which is a sad if not poignant thought, but the way I see it, it’s just a pizza in a zero. That’s all. Not everything has to be deep.

Ok! I think we can all agree such improvements needed to be made for the Japanese. As a Westerner, I hate to say this, but we were bringing you down. But not any more. Asians, if you can remember thousands of characters and operate computer keyboards I can’t even begin to understand, you can learn my versions. For one last time, let’s analyse the numbers from my least favourite to favourite and see what they mean for me. So, 7, 3, 6, 9, 5, 4, 8, 2, 1, 0. And of course that means lucky freedom, evil no, five star pointlessness, prosperous anger, number one of nothing. Wow. What’s THAT mean?? MAYBE it could describe a situation where freedom is lucky, because a guy nearly went to jail. And he shouldn’t have gone to jail, as he’s not evil. Even so, his life is pointless, as some people still THINK he belongs in jail. Which made him angry. And his anger stopped him from being the best he could be. Has such a situation ever happened to me? Well no, but if ever does… Wow. Sadly however, the numbers don’t lie, so that’s what I’m expecting to happen. :( On that sad note… Bye!