Mars Landings (Blog 239)

Am I missing something, here? Have you seen the pictures the Mars robot has taken? Talk about a barren planet, I’d even say it was miserable looking. Why are people so interested in it? It’s like spending millions and millions of pounds, and preparing years and years to go to Hounslow - apparently one of the most depressing places to live in England, (and not so far from me). All you need is a bus. For that money, I’d be expecting world-class rollercoasters, 3 star michelin meals and naturally, actual nice scenery. Ok, you don’t get that in the not-so-happy town, but travel a few more miles and you get London, with a fascinating history that goes back to Roman times. Instead, all you’re getting in Mars is a freezing cold atmosphere that could very well kill you if you’re not very careful. If you want to go on holiday, how about Spain? And all NASA are hoping to find are alien amoebas! Do amoebas have fascinating histories? No, all they do is self-replicate. Making things even worse, astronauts surely KNEW how much Mars sucked through telescopic images alone, right? I know intellectuals are often short-sighted, but these people must be blind. There’s no shame in wearing glasses, you know? Enough is enough.

Even the moon landings were pretty dumb, despite the fact people actually visited the place. Again, the scenery is not so great. As far as I can tell the moon is only worth checking out for the low gravity. But if that’s exciting to you, may I suggest a bouncy castle? Imagine if people set up a space base on the moon. It would be like the biggest children’s attraction in the universe. And do you know the only difference between the moon and Mars? Colour! One’s grey, the other one’s orange. Wow. The sad reality, is that no planets are worth visiting in the solar system. In my opinion, the only reason people bother trying is because they can’t face the fact all their hard work has been a waste from the start. It’s like being made to wait in a queue for hours and then getting told the shop or whatever is now closed. It’s hard to take.

Of course I’m glad the robot successfully made the journey without any problems; can you imagine if robots were just as flawed and wacky as people? I mean many people trust the things. What if they went mental and instead of trying to fulfil their missions, they start doing pointless activities, such as twiddling their metallic thumbs over and over. Imagine a nutty robot operating on your heart, for example. Put simply, the world needs to make sense, or it’s going to descend into anarchy. I wouldn’t want such a bot to work on my car, either. Or build a guitar, etc., etc. And then there’s artificial intelligence that can converse with humans. What would such conversations be like? Maybe ‘I’ve just won the cyber lottery! How would you feel about going to Pluto with me? It will be absolutely terrible, and you’re going to freeze to death (but I’ll be fine), and at least it would be different! Funny, too. Most droids in my position would do something fun! Ha! Wait till you see their reaction!’

However, the Mars landings aren’t ALL bad. Think of this: The planet probably has no advanced life on it whatsoever, and certainly no high technology. Imagine if aliens spot it from light years away, and see a robot! How the HELL did the place go from single cell lifeforms to that?? Of course the practical joke would only work if the aliens never saw the nearby planet Earth, so really the Earth needs to be destroyed to pull the gag off, and obviously that would be way too far. So at the end of the day, the robot is nothing more than an expensive and poorly planned gag, this is completely sick. Hardly appropriate in these times of pandemics. But of course, you need to keep your spirits up, and maybe that’s what NASA were going for. But keep me the hell out of it. But how did they know the virus would be going to spread all those years ago, when planning the event?? :S Creepy. And on that pessimistic and somewhat foolish note (:D)… bye!