NOOOO NOOO NOOO NOOO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (Blog 220)

This is getting ridiculous! A second lockdown can’t happen! This is a fact, I got this from Google: Boredom can kill you. Well ‘it can increase the risk of a premature death.’ So, it can kill you. Making things even worse, is boredom considered a contributor when someone dies suddenly? Nope, it’s always assumed there was some other more ‘likely’ cause such as stress or old age, meaning the death statistics are lower than what they should be. But hang on, the lockdown will cause stress too! We’re looking at a double whammy of peril, here, and that’s only after a couple of minutes of research. At this moment, the government don’t even seem to know what to do. Just tell me if there’s going to be a lockdown or not! If there is, I can order an exercise bike now and get it in a little under a week. I guess a few days without exercise isn’t the end of the world. If there isn’t going to be a lockdown… thank you…

I have a suggestion: Why not make everyone wear WW2 style gas masks? Let’s see a cough getting passed one of those things, rather than a thin piece of cloth over your nose. Granted it would look creepy, maybe even a little apocalyptical, but let’s weigh up the pros and cons, here. If spreading the virus by touching is a concern, you could dress in one of those white suits that cover every bit of the body. That pushes up the creepy levels even further, and try catching a criminal when everyone looks the same and can’t leave fingerprints, but again - pros and cons.

Here’s another thought: Why not let the people who are willing to risk catching the virus (like me) do what they want? It’s their right to choose, right? Everyone else can stay at home. Is that so crazy? ‘But what about the risk of going out then infecting other people in your house?’ Well, there’s a simple way around that - lock them alone in a room. Yes, this blog is getting more and more selfish, if not psycho, but not really if you let those in captivity play Playstation, watch TV, etc. I’m sure finding a way of sliding food under the door won’t be too much of a problem. Just buy loads of sliced ham. I’m not sure how to supply water, though. Unless you lock your parents in a toilet, maybe? No. Too far.

Ok, so it’s a little passed 1 PM now, and the Prime Minister will be public messaging the nation on the virus issue at 4 PM. (The PM will PM-ing at 4 PM). These few hours sure will be tense. Worse case scenario is that I’ll really need to get used to cycling. Maybe it won’t be so bad. I’ve clearly grown mentally since starting this blog, at least in a way (I’m still willing to hold people prisoner if necessary), maybe over the next few days things will be even better. Who knows. Errr…. What to say now? How about a Halloween joke to lighten the mood? I won’t be posting it on the joke section of my site for a while. That’s exciting isn’t it? Here goes: What do you call a shark on Halloween? A masking shark. I never said it was my best gag, but it is relevant. Bye!