November Tidbits! (Blog 225)

Now’s the time for more tidbits! As I’ve been sporadically (great word) building them up over the past few weeks, don’t expect any kind of consistency in them. Or you’ll be confused. Let’s cut to the chase and start things off with Muhammed Ali: Remember his fight where he just stood in a corner and let his opponent punch his raised arms over and over, to drain the attacker of his energy? What if his enemy was onto him and the two just stood doing nothing? I’m assuming the paying audience would get very frustrated and disillusioned, but maybe they’d see the funny side. Sadly, that could give the wrong impression to children. As in ‘These guys get paid millions of pounds for doing absolutely nothing? I want to be a boxer!’ Before you know it, a whole population give up school and work on their standing abilities. Furthermore, the boxing profession in general becomes somewhat of a joke.

Next!: A while ago, I think I heard someone on Youtube say it was possible for modern people to hear what King Henry VIII said, by capturing old radio waves and playing them back or something. I was wondering if it only works with King Henry VIII. If so, and there is a ghost Henry hanging around, imagine how arrogant that would make him. He was known for being pretty narcissistic even without the thought he is a one in several billion. I wonder what kind of dark stuff he said. Maybe something like ‘This is between me and you alone. I like to dress up as a huge fish and pose in front of a mirror. No one must ever know. But how could they? It’s not as if people of the future will have some way of capturing some kind of sound waves… Have you ever heard of radio waves? Me neither…’ If he did worry about that kind of stuff at least a little bit, it must have been pretty stressful for him. Try sectioning the KING under the mental health act, though. Especially when it didn’t even exist at the time. I think insane asylums did, but not the MHA. I don’t know what that means.

Next!: I like to watch video game speed running videos on Youtube. I also like confusing/annoying people. (That’s why I got sacked, if you were wondering. :( ) If you’ve watched such videos, you’d know the idea is all about cutting corners, etc. and being as efficient as possible. So… Here’s my idea for a speed running video: Make the character do needless movements such as spins, jumps up and down on the same spot, etc. You could even make him do large amounts standing still. But how do I make such a run seem to be a record breaker to be admired? Simple, I speed the whole thing up, massively. To be clear, my goal isn’t REALLY to convince people of my apparent abilities, but to make the viewers feel a complete sense of disbelief. As in ‘You don’t really expect me to take that run seriously, do you??’ If you didn’t find my little scheme funny, it’s probably because you didn’t really understand what I was going on about. It’s not that I’m immature. Far from it.

Here’s a deep thought: How come children have more energy, but adults can run further and faster? I’ll leave that one there, as I have no clue about that one.

Next!: A while ago I had my Genie sketch read out online. The other members of the meeting asked me a load of questions as to why the magical being wanted to kill everyone. Was there any deep reason? I was thinking, ‘no not really, he’s just an asshole.’ I didn’t say that though, as I wanted to seem professional and thoughtful. Now I’ve had time to reflect, I wonder why anyone would behave in such an unreasonable way. Actually, I still like the asshole theory. If I was a judge sentencing criminals, I’d be just as thoughtless. As in ‘Seven years, asshole!’ Yep, that’s all I’d say. I wouldn’t even listen to anyone. :)

Next!: Why are the Zoom, Yahoo, and Google company’s names not real words, but sounds? Will the next major enterprise be called Wooohooo or Weeeee! or whatever? Ok, Google is apparently a misspelling of ‘googol’, which is a number, but googol sounds like something a baby would say. I might have made this up (yes, again), but I think that’s where the word got its name? Yep, from a baby. Who knows? You can’t really deny the fact googol sounds dumb, no matter how sophisticated mathematicians are supposed to be.

Next!: Why do new razors only give one good shave, before they start to wear out? It’s not as if my face is as hard and rough as rock, I’ve checked. What kind of metal blade gets beaten by a face? Even rugged, manly faces shouldn’t stop a blade. If they could, that would be damn impressive. They would be the faces of super army soldiers. Then again, if you’re seen Black Hawk Down, it seems some people ARE super army soldiers. They’re borderline invincible. I mean if I got shot just the once, that would negatively affect my mood, for sure. Imagine if medieval swords were as durable as razors. It wouldn’t be long before you might as well just swing huge spoons.

Next!: Here’s a palindrome! It’s not impressive, it’s only two words, but I like it: ‘Drink water’. Or you could say ‘Drink water, the water drink’. That’s five words! Excellent! My record.

Next!: On Facebook where it shows someone is writing a comment by displaying moving dots, wouldn’t it be funny if you wrote a message for hours without posting it then just left it? Other people would certainly wonder what’s going on. It’s a great way to make someone paranoid.

Next!: Apparently there are many people in the UK who are unwilling to get vaccinated because of a lack of trust in the treatment. Maybe more people would be willing to take the pfizer vaccine if it was fruit flavoured. Wouldn’t that make it seem less threatening? As in apple pfizer.

Ok! They’re all the tidbits from me. Ten in fact, a nice number. That wasn’t even intentional. Interestingly when counting them one by one and getting up to number three, the song on my CD player said ‘free’. Literally at the exact same time. An EXCELLENT coincidence. A few years ago, that’s the kind of thought I’d ponder on. Maybe I would have thought my CD player was telling me I’m free. But I’m not, I’m in lockdown. But lockdown will be over soon though. Hm. Bye!!!!!!