RPG Finished! (Blog 338)

After a good four months I’ve finally finished my RPG game about a dying man getting help from his friends to find a long lost spoon! Sounds dumb I know, but when you finish the game, the terminally ill guy puts the thing in his mouth then dies shortly after. It’s actually very poignant. There’s a challenge to the game too, if you don’t buy the right weapons and potions, it won’t be possible. Yes, it’s extremely selfish if a person puts anyone’s lives at risk just for one item of (apparently) everyday cutlery, in the real world if someone did that, he’d be considered mad AND psychopathic, but my game is actually very family friendly. Even if you know how to beat it, you get a good hour of gameplay, too. Which is why it’s so annoying I can’t put my work on my site. At least I don’t think I can…

Whilst I’m mostly very pleased with how things turned out, there is at least one glitch that I couldn’t be bothered to fix, but in the end, I thought it was funny so I left it. Basically, one of the characters does a Jesus and walks on water for a bit. But as far as I know, THAT’S IT. But I could pretend that’s not a glitch, as it sounds pretty impressive to me. Maybe I didn’t fix it because deep down I fantasise about me doing that? Because of my personality, I have a lot to prove. I’m not saying I’ve made a deep game, but heroes Ekion Grepple (a perfectly reasonable name, I think); Senotfed (that’s Deftones backwards); Bleblebleb (a more controversial - as in dumb - name for someone perhaps); and Noogio Bib (a name partially inspired by a cool numberplate that I saw) are great guys and I think players will warm to them! I know I did.

One of the cool things about RPG Maker, is that you can make your own weapons that can be pretty much as powerful as you want. It’s strangely satisfying the way in the end you kill monsters super easily whereas before they were really tough. You can name your weapons too, and I fittingly if childishly called the best one ‘The Ultimate Pown’. You can name the various medicines too, and again I gave them names such as ‘Health pown’ or whatever. I haven’t heard anyone say ‘pown’ in many years now, but I say bring it back. Have I said the same thing before? If so, it just goes to show how strongly I feel about the subject. Right now I’m looking like an idiot, but not if the word catches on again. As my game was so simple, I didn’t bother working with the coding of more complicated items that can cure you from poisons, etc. BUT I did still sell the remedies in my RPG shop. Weirdly the seller explained that you can buy the items, but they don’t do anything. Again, not a deep game.

I was considering posting my game on a site especially for homemade RPGs, but you have to write a synopsis and all that stuff before it gets approved, and I mean… well what would I say? 350 words about spoons? Even if used a more mature word like ‘tableware’ I’d still come across as a nutter. It’s a surprisingly serious site when you consider the fact most people probably make games about themselves where they slay the toughest monsters in the world and become king. Lighten up! On the plus side, I did give my game a sensible title - ‘Dying Man’s Wish’. Such a good start. A perfect way to troll someone, but to be clear there’s no trolling whatsoever. Well not really. And even worse, even if my game WAS posted, I’m assuming most people would think it’s really really bad. Yes, I’m a noob.

So that’s it, all over now. Maybe I can go back to my hobbies that are a little more respected in the adult world, such as practicing electric guitar. There’s no shame in that whatsoever. Granted, some of the music I like to play isn’t too melodic (I just like the sound of scales being played very fast, especially if all the notes are picked :O) but if Yngwie Malmsteen can make a career out of playing scales very fast, who is in a position to judge me?? Will I ever make a sequel to Dying Man’s Wish? I really don’t know. Not in the near future anyway. For now, I’ll continue with my One Screwy Day tales. The main thing I don’t like about those is whilst the stories develop nicely, the same body language gets repeated over and over again. If you read one short story it’s fine, but if you read more you’ll notice people scratch their heads and give thumbs up, etc. a LOT. I guess everyone has mannerisms, no??? And on that optimistic note… bye!!