Staines Part Infinity (Blog 401)

As infinity is the largest number possible, does that mean this will be my very last Staines blog? I very much doubt it. Next time I’ll probably say ‘Staines part infinity plus one’. But that’s not allowed, so maybe ‘Staines part Simon’s Number’ is better, which is a super massive number that bends the rules of normal, understood mathematics. I’ve just invented it for the purpose of this blog. Graham’s number has real life uses, so does my one. Why did I go to the town? Well I didn’t end up going to Thorpe Park at night, and I’ve been feeling a bit sad. A bit blue. What better way to cheer me up than with a premium milkshake? And on the plus side, at least I never had to go through the peril of taking a good two buses to the theme park. And at night on the way back, where I couldn’t see where I was going properly? A perfect storm.

Anyway, on the way to Staines, I realised I forgot my pen and paper to make notes. Not to worry, I could just buy some biros and a notepad. A nice thoughtful gift for myself, as now I don’t have to write everything with permanent markers that go through both sides of the paper. With my new pens, I effectively have double the amount of paper! Turned out I didn’t really need the items at the time, I just remembered everything, but it’s good to be safe. I always feel awkward making notes in public, so if possible, I don’t. I look like someone pretending to be an undercover agent. Either that, or a self-obsessed person who has to document EVERYTHING in his life, including buying CDs. Is that what I am? Hm. Maybe technically speaking. As I didn’t have any change on me because I did the right thing and gave it to the pizza man the day before, I had to work the ticket machine with my credit card. That was a skill I wasn’t familiar with, so I screwed the process up the first time. However, that worked out for me, as on the first attempt I put the right first half of my car’s numberplate, but the second half was my old car’s plate. :S The second attempt, though? Bang on.

So yeah, then I bought the pens and paper. No confusion there, why would there be? Ok, I guess there was a little as I had to find the things, but I hid it well and came across as your regular shopper. :) Then I bought a CD! I’m kind of lacking in death metal in my collection, so I thought it best to put things right and buy me some Entombed. At least I thought it was DM, the album’s called ‘Wolverine Blues’ which confused me a little. I think that’s fair enough. Even so, I took a chance. I checked when the album was made, and it was released in 1993. It passed the date test! That being the earlier in band’s history, the better the music is. That’s not always true, but maybe it is at least 75% of the time? Maybe even 90%! :O I would be playing it right now, but annoyingly I dropped one of my old CDs on my guitar and its metal, scrapey strings, and I wanted to check if it’s still ok. Praise the lord, it is! Otherwise, I’d have to buy it again on Amazon, make a new handwritten sign for the door, etc. I look weird enough already. (Though let’s weigh up the pros and cons here).

Then I got my first rate shake and apple cake/muffin. I knew I made a mess of the latter, but it wouldn’t be until I got home that I realised I still had some pudding on my face. You know what I think the treat should have been called? ‘Apple Explosion’. If so, no customer would have the right to complain. Not only that, it sounds exciting and it was exciting, so no one has the right to complain there, either. If apple explosion isn’t new enough, how about Apple face? I’ve never heard of apple face food, sounds intriguing. It’s like pirate metal. It sounds like a really stupid idea for a genre, but you have to check it out. I had to ask for cream on top of my shake this time. Let’s hope that rookie mistake was a one off as the cream is the best part! You want customers to come back and spread the word like I am? Don’t neglect the cream. That was the trip out! I’m not feeling MUCH better, but on the whole, a good decision!