Techno Party Pooper (Blog 486)

Yesterday, I went through something pretty epic. It was filled with highs and lows (mostly lows, as well as many feelings of despair and genuine horror) and I sure am glad it’s all over. What could it be? Well, let’s go through things in real time…

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Well, it’s time to update my computer again, I guess. Let’s just click on the button… Wow, in the time it took to write the preceding short sentence by hand, my download remaining time has gone down to just one minute. That was fast. I don’t think that’s ever even happened before. Hm. A bit shady. Ah, now it says there are 30 minutes to go. Historically, that’s around the time things go wrong. But if I do get stuck there, at least I’d be stuck on a round number, right? For your information, it got stuck there at 10:20 AM. Let’s find out how accurate the downloading time was, 1 minute was clearly nonsense but at least my fish wallpaper is adding some comfort. All the animals shown are almost certainly dead now, which is sad so maybe I should switch to forest wallpaper as trees live for ages. Unless they get turned into furniture, I mean. What a life, standing doing nothing for centuries and then being cut down with a chainsaw. :S At least they’d be with their fellow trees.

I’m missing the internet already. As I’m writing, I’m listening to the band Wavves and they have a lyric that goes ‘I can’t seem to get a job’. Yes, me too! I want to Google if the musicians look like me, but maybe I misheard the lyrics. I’m just saying the musicians do have a job, they’re playing in a band. Idiots. Another lyric goes ‘I’ll always be on my own.’ They play in a band! Again, idiots. Maybe they meant they’ll never play in the company of an audience. If so, I can work out why. Music is supposed to be art and that was rubbish. Hopefully the update will fix my random yellow background problem where it replaces the fish about 50% of the time. I get how yellow is supposed to be a cheerful colour, but I’m reminded of the back of Megadeth’s nuclear war themed album ‘Rust in Peace’. That’s not very happy, is it? Argh! Why did my screen just darken? Oh, it’s just about to go into sleep mode, false alarm. I thought it crashed!

It’s now 10:50 and my computer is still updating. (At least it says it is). I knew the countdown would be wrong. Ah yes, I can just look at the musicians in my album artwork to see if they look like me. Nope, there’s so resemblance there at all. I guess they can’t find a job for some other reason. Oh no, I just missed the time 11:11:11 on my computer clock! And it’s still stuck on 30 minutes! It’s not as bad as when I missed my car’s mileage of 55,555 (five fives in a row!) though, that made me angry. I just have to stay positive, that’s all. I need to look to the future, that obviously being Christmas! I’ll tel you what is positive, my Twitter hashtag orderings. Long term readers will know that after I post a joke one day I say #joke #lol, the next day I do the hashtags the other way around, etc., etc. (or try to) as a fun memory game. I’m doing much better at the sport nowadays, I often go a week without making a mistake. I wonder why that is. I have been sleeping better now that I’m on anti-drooling medication, maybe that’s what it is. Wow the meds are good for drooling, travel sickness, they stop me from needing to pee in middle of the night (as much), AND they help with memory? That’s a wonder drug!

Things are still downloading, but I did see the times 11:22:11 and 11:22:33, it’s actually quite rare for two great numbers to follow each other so quickly. 11:33:55 is a good number, too. Goes up in twos, doesn’t it? I have black ink on my hands from all the note taking. At first it looked like I had frostbite. I mean it’s chilly outside, but surely not that bad, and I was only outside for a couple of minutes. I hope I didn’t get ink on my face from all the pondering. I’m just saying the thoughtful pose is to put part of your hand on your chin. 11:44:11! (And still on 30 minutes). Now it’s 11:50 and my computer is going to restart. (In a good way). That was 1 and half hours stuck on 30 minutes. But I’m not bitter. My computer tried and that’s the most important thing. Ok… after restarting, my computer is still saying I need to update my software. My background is wrong, too. Ok, now it’s telling me to restart again. Come on you can do this… It’s taking a while to restart but that just means the update will be super awesome.

Right, my computer has finally reloaded AND I STILL HAVE AN UPDATE. >:( No, false alarm, the update alert has gone. The background is still yellow, though. All in all, not TOO bad. I just need to open a website on full screen mode and my wallpaper should go back to normal afterwards. It doesn’t make sense to ME, but I’m sure I’m 100% fine. ARGH! My computer has restarted ‘because of a problem’! My computer has finally reloaded and I’ve been told to update again!!! I don’t have too much of a problem with waiting, but what’s with everything going to hell? What’s going on? If I had to guess, it’s something sinister. I’ll try restarting again and if that doesn’t work, I can try installing in safe mode. If SAFE mode doesn’t even work, what will? No one wants a dangerous computer and if my computer is dangerous even at its best… well… dear God.

It’s almost 1:30 and all I’ve done recently is watch TV and play guitar as my computer is slowly starting to turn on again. Sue me, I’m trying to relax. As I was saying a few weeks ago, Apple would be really low if they made me update over the festive period and that’s exactly what they’ve done. What gets to me is I thought today would be different with my computer updating. I was confident, even, not anymore. (A few minutes pass). … So, do you think it’s nice for me? Looking at the download symbol on my computer getting longer pixel by pixel on a black screen? No, it’s not nice at all. I’m going to have to play something really mellow. Major 7th chords are nice, maybe I could arpeggiate them as quickly as possible to make them more challenging. There’s no shame in it, you know? Crying I mean. I want to cry. Now I’m watching a gameshow, one contestant is called ‘Arun’. It’s SO similar to Aaron, either English or Middle Eastern people need to come up with more original names.

The gameshow has finished and now I’m watching the news. There’s a Christmas tree in the studio, now I know how people who hate the festive period feel. As in ‘oh just (expletive) everything!’ It’s 13:50 and it’s still not over, what the flip was that 1 minute remaining business about?? Oh and now my computer has randomly turned off completely. Why? I don’t know, I guess I should wait some more. Now my computer has a message saying my computer was restarted because of a problem (referring to that earlier issue) and is offering me a button to click on to report the mishap. Well… it would be good if I could use my mouse, wouldn’t it? I’ll wait some more. Oh thank God, the message has gone by itself. Things are still loading, though. Ah, now there’s a message saying ‘9 minutes remaining.’ Errrr… bull (expletive)! I still have hope, though. Not a massive amount, sure, but some.

Oh. It did take about 9 minutes to reach a new screen. How about that? I’m still not completely in the clear, but I think I’ll be fine. I’ve been told to report the same problem again, let it go! I don’t care! You clearly don’t care about me, Christmas ruiner! Wow the screen is gone and the fish have come back! Brilliant! I’ve checked for updates and I’ve finally done everything I’m supposed to! For a long time I was worried I’d need a new computer! It took me a good 4 hours, but I got there in the end. Not only that, I got an answer right in another game show. There is just one downer, that being my screen is yellow again. But on the whole, a success! Oh, why has my Facebook profile picture disappeared? Google says it could be because my image is offensive. I don’t have an offensive face do I? Google also says it could be because Facebook is doing some maintenance work, I think it’s that. Still though, another thing making me nervous! Bye!