The Palindrome Trap (Bog 237)

This blog is a warning to those who are new to the apparently exciting world of palindrome spotting, particularly number palindromes. I’m not exaggerating when I say looking out for the things can become a crippling addiction. Say you’re watching a DVD. The first number on the player will likely be the scene, and the ones following that will likely show how long you’ve been watching the thing. So, you start off with scene 1 and the time is 00:00. You only have one second before it’s the first palindrome, so watch out and get ready to clap with joy! Yes, it would be 1 00:01. :O But that’s not enough. You need to keep chasing the high. (And it is a high. You’ll look weird, but like drug addicts, you will stop caring). So what would the next palindrome be? I guess that depends on how often the scenes change. The lack of certainty certainly keeps you on your toes, only adding to the elation of the next big find. In all likelihood, the upcoming one will be 1 01:01. What a number! Not as good as 1 11:11, though.

But it doesn’t even end THERE. Next you’re on the lookout for good looking numbers, such as 5 43:21 or maybe 1 23:45. Before you know it, you’ve almost completely missed the film or whatever you intended to watch. You’re stuck in the world of palindromes, and there is no easy way out. You think you can stop? Boy have you got a lot to learn. Even when you’re lying in bed, trying to sleep, you keep thinking about where to spot the next super number. Maybe you’ll see one on your digital clock or microwave. More dangerously, you wonder if you will be glued to your car clock rather than the actual road.

The above is obviously all very nightmarish, so do I have any advice for you? Tip 1: If you get approached by a stranger saying ‘Hey, man. Check out this number.’ Ignore him and walk away. Try not to make eye contact. He’s dangerous. Tip 2: Cover your DVD timer with opaque sticky tape. Who REALLY needs to see how many scenes are in a release, anyway? Tip 3: If you get awakened by an alarm clock, turn the thing off without looking at it. It may take practice but never give up. Or you’ll be a slave to digits, as people in the scene say. Tip 4: Carry earplugs with you if you are in a ‘intense number zone’, where you hear the things AS WELL as see them. :S For example, in a train station. Tip 5: If you see a tempting number, get in the habit of thinking ‘NO!!!’ and learn how to think of something completely different, in an instant. Again, not easy. Far from it.

Even though I try to practice all five tips, I am far from cured of my affliction. Every day is a struggle. The best I can do is hope for better times, but I watch a lot of DVDs. Especially in this era of lockdown, where I’m on my exercise bike that faces a TV. Ok, I said I practice 5, really I practice 4. I don’t really cover up my DVD player. It’s just a hard thing to explain, if I get caught. ‘But the palindromes!!’ is rarely considered a good excuse. It’s REALLY not a good explanation if you’re involved in a car crash.

I don’t mean to worry you, but be aware of the fact addictive personalities often find another addiction when quitting an old one. I may not have stared at my computer clock all day today, but I HAVE just stood up one of my pens, nice and tall and balanced with expert precision. I do so a LOT. The sad reality is that you may end up doing the same. What are you going to do? Throw all your pens away? Never even glimpse at them again? Not exactly practical, is it? But there is hope: I’ve just knocked my pen over, and even though it was by mistake, making me feel powerless, at the same time I feel free. Now I can concentrate on this blog properly. Want to see an impressive word to finish things up? Antidisestablishmentarianism. I needed spell checker, but I got there in the end. And on that happy note… Byeeeeee!