Uncle! Again! (Blog 352)

Yesterday, me and my dad visited my brother’s family to see my new niece! Let’s not discuss the drive there because I don’t think it matters, and similarly, let’s not dwell too much on the ringing of my brother’s doorbell. Right, here comes the more important writing! I’d hope anyway. No, of COURSE my niece is more important than a doorbell, it’s ok! You could make an argument that she’s not as useful as a doorbell yet, but that’s abuse and I just said it to take up space. A short blog. Ok, NOW let’s get going, properly. As my new niece was upstairs with her mum, I didn’t get to see her for a while. Instead, one of the first things my dad and brother did was move a cracked TV and replace it with a new non cracked one. My brother scratched his wooden floor in the process, so my dad got some pencils and coloured the scratch in. Sounds like a joke, but actually it had a pretty good effect. So always carry a pencil with you, just in case you accidentally scratch someone’s car? I’m not sure about that, that sounds like the kind of thing that would get an angry response. Even if you coloured in your own car, I’d imagine you’d get some funny reactions. So let’s move on.

Later on in the day, my mini nephew kept calling me ‘daddy’ and my dad ‘daddy’, too. I also noticed him calling a door or something like that ‘daddy’. The world is a confusing place for babies. If I was asked how to define a father as best as I could, even I would wonder what to say. I wouldn’t mentions doors, obviously, but to a baby I guess doors could be fathers, right? Like fathers, doors offer protection don’t they? That sounds very philosophical, and MAYBE my nephew was being philosophical too. I did notice that he started crying once for no reason whatsoever, making me very curious as to what was going on in his head, but whatever it was, I’m sure it wasn’t random. If it was random, human behaviour would make no sense and even worse it would be pretty frightening! When I finally got to see her, it was pointed out how the baby girl had dark hair. Yes! Darcy = dark haired! Not ‘descended from darkness’ as Google also suggests, there’s nothing sinister about the name whatsoever! On a lighter note, it was also pointed out how my sister in law’s children keep getting born progressively smaller. I don’t know the reason, but if she continues having children, eventually she could have nano children, which would be amazing. But she said she won’t have any more kids, which is a shame.

Sadly me and my dad didn’t stay for too long, so there wasn’t enough time to move onto the important matter of opening the present my dad bought ‘the new mother’. Fancy chocolates? Made for sharing? The woman may have pointed out she has been craving chocolates recently, but like anything you can overdo them, making you sick. I’LL SAVE YOU!!! As pointed out, I was sick earlier on even. It wasn’t great, but if I can stop the sickness in others by chewing smooth cocoa treats, savouring the moment and swallowing them, I’m your man! When I got home I was mostly feeling well, but I still had a bit of a sore throat, so I thought it best to steal another of my dad’s Strepsils. Just to be safe. Actually, I just liked the taste. Why make medicines taste good??? In my head I’m picturing people overdosing, calling an ambulance and saying they’ve abused medications. Then the other guy on the phone would be like ‘why, are you depressed?’ then the other person would be like ‘the tablets… they tasted of Haribo! Kids and grownups love it so’. Then the over guy on the phone would be like ‘(expletive) off’. The thing is that does happen. Not always in those words, but kind of? Probably, yeah! And… bye!