As I’m typing on a Sunday, my dad said my brother and his family would be visiting me today. (The former has a habit of lying for no reason)… But I shaved, didn’t I? I never shave the day I see my brother and I shave every two days, as we all know. My dad should have said my sibling would be visiting me either yesterday or tomorrow if he would have any chance of me believing him. As the blog title suggests, me seeing my brother on the day I shave is a paradox. I don’t know th

Ok, it’s time for another Matt and two other teachers on a podcast themed blog, let’s go! Wow, Matt very quickly says you have to have something wrong with you to either teach or do standup comedy and he does both of those things. His lessons must be pretty interesting. If he has something physically wrong with him, he’ll be spewing all over the students, if he has something mentally wrong with him, he’ll only be pretending, which is why I think mental problems aren’t anythin

Earlier on today, I went to the opticians for a checkup as I haven’t been there for over two years. I can’t say I’ve noticed my vision getting worse in that time which is something. However, if someone shines bright lights into your eyes for a good minute or so as they look at you with a serious and analytical stare, you kinda get the feeling that there is the potential for something to be very seriously wrong with you. I’d have to wait and see. After being asked various ques

Plaque on my teeth is already building up despite my recent dentist appointment, so I thought I’d try mouthwash again, but a different brand this time. The first one stained my teeth, so I did some light research and asked the internet if you can get mouthwash that doesn’t leave any marks. I think I’ve found a suitable product but before I get around to that, I want to get some hardcore complaining out of the way. So, I read that the stuff’s dye may have caused my teeth to be

Today’s Matt themed blog will be special as I didn’t get his permission for writing it. I KIND of did, he said I could use any of his stuff a while ago, just not recently. If Matt does complain, I can simply change his name to the completely different ‘Sebastien’ on a later date. In the worst case scenario, I could also say he’s not featuring in a teacher themed podcast, but a tutor themed radio show. Different enough. How do I explain the special thumbs up for Matt? Well, th

Earlier on today, I went to Staines to celebrate the excellent results of my dentist appointments! I was fearing the health care workers would say something like ‘You’ve gone too far, Simon. All the sugar? It has to stop, screwed up face. :S.’ I heard nothing of the sort, so why not go on an intense food binge in the town? Actually there’s a fairly good reason - constipation BUT I’ve been drinking more the last few days and my self-diagnosed torn bum seems to have healed. For

As I’m typing, I’m psyching myself up for my upcoming dentist appointments. Obviously I can’t really blog about that yet as I haven’t been there. I can guess what it will be like though judging by past experiences, I’d be really nervous as I wait, the hygiene session will be really painful, the proceeding overall checkup won’t be nearly as bad, and I’d feel a huge sense of relief and boosted mood when everything is finally over. I heard that after you get stung by a bullet an

Earlier on today, I finally bit the bullet and downloaded scriptwriting software onto my computer all by myself. Yes, to do so you only need to know how to read and follow basic instructions (nothing more complicated than ‘drag the image to install’) but when everything was over, I did get a more than noticeable buzz, one comparable to finishing a long gym session. I was on top of the world. Things didn’t go 100% smoothly though. I forgot the password for the site as I last u

In Matt and co’s latest teacher themed podcast, Matt talks about throwing children down staircases in frustration and hitting them, and...

Today I went to Hampton Court again, this time with my dad, brother, two mini nieces and nephew! To start things off, my dad couldn’t...

You know when I said I could update my computer with software, but not the very latest version of it a few days ago? That’s because my...

According to the internet (not A.I., I don’t trust that) my Mac should need an update later on today (at the time of writing, which is a...

As the title suggested, the LCW meeting has been cancelled, so I’m going to go for a lovely walk in Chobham Common instead, then I’ll...

As there is tube strike in London coming up that means it looks like I’m going to have to cancel my trip to the London Comedy Writers...

It’s been a month or so since I posted about Matt and co.’s teacher themed podcast, so let’s share another! Almost immediately everyone...

At the time of typing on a Thursday, I’m planning on going to Kingston to get the brand new Deftones album, that I’ve already reserved by...

I had a thorough, three tubes full blood test in February at my local doctor to see how my general health was. The checkups are supposed...

Yesterday, I went to Hampton Court Palace with my dad, brother, sister in law, three nieces and nephew! The first thing I noticed when...

Yesterday, England played football against Spain! Land of tea vs land of tacos, based on those stereotypes, anyone could win, right? Is...

On Tuesday night I was excited when I saw the England women football team turn things around and start beating the other side, after the...